Chapter 16 - .Just the way you are.

Part 1.

Sampai saja kami di hadapan hotel, Hans ingin mengangkatku keluar.

“ I am alright. I can walk. Just let me hang on to you.” aku berkata pada Hans.

“Let me carry you up to the room. You are not strong enough to walk.” Hans insist.

“Hans, really I am alright.” aku berdegil.

“No you’re not. Degil…” Hans memarahi aku. “Ok, hold on to me tightly. We don’t want to be spending the night in the hospital.”

As we stood outside the car, we hung on to each other. I stood in front of Hans and he didn’t move. I slowly rested my body against his. My heart is pounding waiting for Hans's response. There was a sense of lightness the moment he had his hands on my face and lift it up. “Degil…” he said.

I immediately pressed my body and both arms wrapped around him. “I am not.” aku membalas.

“Oh yeah….you are.” Hans said. We stood on the street in each others arms. It was a cool windy night. “Come let’s get inside. It’s getting cold.”Hans said.

Part 2.

We stopped on the 6^th floor. He walked me to my room. “Ok this is where I stop. You go ahead rest and take a warm shower. I need to do the same. I’ll come by again in one and a half hour with dinner. No worries, it’s home cooked straight from our Ambassador’s kitchen.” And that is the Hans I know. Always makes me helpless……

“It sounds delicious. I can’t wait.” Aku tersenyum sambil meraba-raba poket jaketku untuk mencari  the door access card...."Found It..."

He kissed my forehead and let go of his hand. He turned  and walked straight to his room which was just two doors away. Aku masih bersandar di pintu bilik dan memerhatikan Hans. Dia menoleh and signaled me to get into the room.  Aku tersenyum dan melambai-lambaikan access card. I opened the door and went in.

I should be embarrassed the way I behave this evening. Was I too aggressive? I lay on the sofa and stared around the room.  Hans is the guy I’ve been looking. He will go out all of his way to make our life special. I do not need a certain special occasion from him to show me how much he loves me, he can easily turn my every day in to a special moment. I know I need to move on but my past does play an integral part in my day to day decision. But what I know now, I need to gain my confidence. I need to learn to love him. I don’t want to lose him again.

Tepat pukul 7:30 malam a knock on the door. "Mesti Hans..." 

Aku membuka pintu and there he was pushing the dinner cart.

“Room Service. May I come in?” Hans smiled. Aksinya membuatku tergelak. My first laugh in a while.

“Please come in.” aku mempersilakan dia masuk. He turned and closed the door. When he saw me he hugged, “Dah mandi? You still look quite pale, babe.”

“Dah mandi dah. I’m alright but memang rasa lemah sikit. But now you are here I know you definitely will feed me well kan?” aku mengusik Hans.

“Well, apa tunggu lagi, come let’s eat…you also looked like you lost a lot of weight”, said Hans and he placed all the food on the dining table. “Come have a look. We have goulash, stuffed capsicum, brown rice and for dessert it’s flόdni, which is layered pastry consist of jam, walnut, apple and poppy seed.” Explained Hans dengan panjang lebar.

“Thanks Hans they looked delicious. But I wanna start with dessert. Tak ada selera sangat nak makan nasi…” aku buat keputusan and grabbed a slice of the layered pastry. It is sweet and tasty. Hans had the rice and goulash. He seems to enjoy his food very much.

We talked about what’s been happening back home while I was gone. Aku terhibur sekali malam ni. Tak kering gusi aku dibuatnya with all the jokes he shared. Another sight of him yang aku tidak pernah perasan. Aku dapat lihat sifat pemalunya dari riak mukanya bila bercerita. Banyak pandang ke bawah dan will lift his head when comes to punch line followed by a wide smile.  Hans,……you make me weak. You are my forever guy……he seems just like a fictional character but to have one right in front of you…..I must be the luckiest woman in the world.

“Babe….Babe…”

“Hhmmmm…..”aku jawab malas dan memandang Hans.

“You did not stop smilling for the past 30 seconds. Anything you wanna share…? Hans bertanya.

“Really? Nah, its nothing…......Actually, yes. Hans, tonight has been a lovely experience for me. You made a simple day become special.”  I stood up and walked towards Hans. He stood up and he held out his hands. I reached to him and placed his arms around me.  I was in my comfort zone and sigh,”Hans, kalau dulu I only understood cinta sebagai perasaan kasih dan sayang towards your partner, I silap. Cinta itu….bila dua jiwa bertemu and it becames one. I am very much crazy about you….you know kan…….? With all that's happened sudikah lagi you menerima I seadanya…..always be there for me?” I looked up and he was already looking at me.

“You are my vitamin and I need my vitamins everyday. Of course I terima you seadanya Tika. You adalah segala-galanya dalam hidup I,....and you too kena terima baik buruk I juga….”, he pulled me up. My head rested on his toned chest….and his hands held tight around my waist.

Credit to Bruno Mars and You Tube

Using his right hands he tilted my chin and gave me a soft kiss…..”From the very moment I saw you at the clinic, I wanna kiss you but I was afraid you might reject me…..and at any time if you wanna stop, we stop alright.”

He looked deep into my eyes. Tilting his head to the left he placed another soft kiss on my lips. My knees were shaking but he held me tight. And a third kiss landed before I get a chance to close my mouth.  I have fainted once before from this kiss…..please don’t make me faint again. The kiss lasted a few seconds and he gave me all the space I needed. I had my eyes closed all the time…..

I pushed him slightly, “I think we better stop before I faint again….”. Aku ketawa….so did Hans. We let go of each other and just sat holding hands on the sofa.  

We didn’t say much. We didn’t have too…..we communicated in our silent way. We had staring eye contest. Siapa kalah kena urut kaki juara….hahaha that was cute. It was a draw so we each get to massage each others leg. Sometimes we looked at each other and smile. One time he tried braiding my hair and it was catastrophic.    

Times past so fast when you are having a good time. Hans got up and sat up straight.

“Babe, are you willing to share your life with me? “, our fingers clamped.

“Yes, Hans. And will you share your life with me?” aku membalasnya.

“Yes, Atikah……he stood up and walked to his jacket laying on the bed. He came back and passed me a small silver box , “Open it….go a head.”

I opened and there was the biggest diamond ring I've ever seen. I took it out and looked at Hans. “It’s beautiful Hans and is this what I think it is.….?”, Aku begitu terkejut dan terharu.

Hans took the ring from me and placed it on my left hand ring finger.  “I have been carrying this ring in my pocket for the last 3 months. This is to seal our relationship. Let’s build a life together.” Aku mengangguk tanda setuju. We sat on the couch the whole night in each other’s arm enjoying the cool breeze of wind blowing in through the balcony.

“I will wait until you fall asleep than I’ll go back to my room…”, he placed a kiss on my head.

"Thanks Hans...." aku layu dalam dakapannya.