Chapter 12 - It's not Goodbye

Part 1.

Aku terjaga dan panic melihatkan bilik luas ini yang dipenuhi perabut antic.Where am I? What happened to me. Shit! Pergelangan kaki dan tangan ku diikat rapi. Aku cuba menguling-gulingkan badanku di atas katil empuk ini dan jatuh terhempap ke lantai. “Argh!....”, menitik air mataku menahan kesakitan. “Damned you Ghazz, damned you!!”

Aku gigihkan juga kederatku mengesot menghampiri tingkap bilik. Aku cuba bangun dan mengintai luar tingkap….aduh, berpinar-pinar mata aku terkena panahan cahaya dari luar.

“What? Where am I?”…..sambil memerhatikan kawasan sekeliling. “Oh my God....this is not Malaysia.….GHAZZZZZ!!!!!!!!". Baru Tika teringat pemandu teksi dari airport tempohari. He greeted us with, Welcome to Budapest....Aku di Hungary? Why Ghazz why, so far away kau bawa aku lari..!!!

"GHAZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", aku menjerit sekuat hati.

“I want to see you,…NOWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GHAZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aku terdengar bunyi daun pintu dibuka. Aku terus bertempik, “Where the hell am I?”

Ghazz hanya tersenyum dan berjalan menghampiriku. He grabbed me by the arm. Aku cuba mengelak tetapi aku tidak mampu melawan dengan keadaanku yang terikat. “We are far away from home sayang, just you and me. There's no Hans here. He will not bother us.”, and he forced a kiss on my lips. The more I resist the harder he kisses me. He let me go and I fell down on my back.

“Sayang haven’t I said before if I can’t have you, no one else can.” Ghazz berbisik di telinga aku as he pulled me up. I lost my balance and fell in to his arms. He held me long and I tried to squeeze away from him. He was so pissed off and dragged me back to the bed.

“Ghazz, now you have me and this is the way you treat me. You’ve gone through so much to get me back and you push me around like this? “, Tika cuba reverse psychology on Ghazz.

“Apa yang you nak lagi!!”, Tika jerit. “Kau tembak Hans…..kau dah gilake Ghazz?”

Ghazz mula naik angin, “Shut-up. Suka hati akulah apa aku nak buat?,…mengheretku naik ke atas katil. Di dekati mukanya bersebelahan mukaku sambil mengusap-usap rambutku. “Ya aku dah gila, kau milik aku tau. You are my ticket untuk mendapat harta keluarga aku. Walaupun aku tak cinta kan kau, aku terpaksa. Hans?..... biar dia mampus. Tak payahlah you ingatkan Hans lagi, dia dah mati. Dah mati tau tak?!!!

"And you know what I am going to do with you? Aku nak kau rasa menyesal sebab kau tinggalkan aku…”. Ghazz menambah.

“I tak tinggalkan you, Ghazz. You yang putuskan pertunangan kita dulu dan tinggalkan I, apa you have a short term memory loss ke? Babi…..!” marahku sambil meronta-ronta.

Sambil mencengkam muka aku, “Tapi aku nakkan kau balik….bapak aku tak nak bagi hartanya kalau aku tak kahwin dengan kau.  Bila kita dah kahwin dan aku dapat harta bapak aku…kau boleh berambus…..kau pergilah pada jantan keparat yang tergila-gilakan kau tu. Carilah kubur dia....Bangsat! Kawan makan kawan….kah..kah…kah….”

“Bodoh! Sakitla….”, lawan Tika. Let go of my hands Ghazz….sakitlah ni”.

“Kau jangan buat hal. Aku nak keluar sekejap. Kau nak jerit, jeritlah sepuas hati kau. Tak ada siapa yang akan dengar kau.”warned Ghazz as he got off the bed.

“Ghazz, lepaskanlah tangan aku, please.”Tika merayu.

Ghazz closed the door behind him and I am trapped again. Aku menangis kerana itu sahaja yang aku mampu buat. Aku teringatkan mama, adik and Hans. Hans are you okay? Hidup lagikah dia? Ghazz said Hans dah mati? Aku teresak-esak menangis lalu tertidur.

                                                                         Credit to Byyusufxg7 and You Tube.

Now what if I never kiss your lips again

Or feel the touch of your sweet embrace

How would I ever go on?

Without you there's no place to belong

Well someday love is going to lead you back to me

But till it does I'll have an empty heart

So I'll just have to believe

Some where out there you're thinkin' of me

Till the day I let you go

Until we say our next hello its not goodbye

Till I see you again

I'll be right here remembering when

And if time is on our side

There will be no tears to cry on down the road

There is one thing I can't deny its not goodbye

You think I'd be strong enough to make it through

And rise above when the rain falls down

But its so hard to be strong

When you've been missing somebody so long

Its just a matter of time I'm sure

Well time takes time and I can't hold on

So won't you try as hard as you can

Put my broken heart together again?

Till the day I let you go

Until we say our next hello its not goodbye

Till I see you again

I'll be right here remembering when

And if time is on our side

There will be no tears to cry on down the road

There is one thing I can't deny its not goodbye

Hey, yeah its not goodbye, ooh

Till the day I'll let you go

Until we say our next hello its not goodbye

Till I see you again

I'll be right here remembering when

And if time is on our side

There will be no tears to cry on down the road

And I can't deny it's, not goodbye

Till the day I'll let you go

Until we say our next hello its not goodbye

Till I see you

I'll be right here remembering when

And if time is on our side

There will be no tears to cry on down the road

And I can't deny it's, not goodbye

It's, not goodbye

Goodbye

No more tears to cry

Its not goodbye

Part 2.

Aku tersedar dan pandanganku terpaku pada Ghazz yang sedang duduk di kerusi empuk bertentangan dengan katilku.

“Ghazz……please Ghazz tangan I sakit. Please untie me…”, rayuku.

“Hey, aku rimas dengar kau merengeklah. Boleh diam tak…aku tengah fikir ni!”herdik Ghazz. Ghazz stood up and walked over to the bed. Aku mula kecut. Dia berhenti dan menghembuskan asap rokoknya ke atas. Kemudian dia mematikan puntung rokok di dalam astray. Ghazz membetulkan rambutnya dan melangkah ke atas katil.

“Ghazz, what do you think you’re doing?....Ghazz! Dia hanya membisu dan memerhatikan aku sahaja.  He stroked my arms and run them down to my fingers. He kept doing it several times.  Think Tika, what would you do in this situation….think!

Aku tak mampu…melawan Ghazz dengan kaki dan tanganku yang terikat. He crawled on top of me and now his face is closed to mine. I was so scared and closed my eyes. I could feel him breathing all over my neck and he bit on my earlobe. Aku hampir tewas.....tetapi dengan suara terketar-ketar aku merayu, “Ghazz, please Ghazz ……no.....”.

“Shhhhhh…………..aku yang bodoh sebenarnya. Melepaskan kau dulu was the biggest mistake.”, Ghazz tiba-tiba menangis dan menyembamkan mukanya ke dadaku. He slide down while his hands was all over my waist and stomach caressing and kissing it repeatedly..., "Tika, please stay here with me. Tak ada harta lain dalam dunia I rather have now that I have you....", Ghazz bersuara.  

Aku terkejut, “Ghazz,….untie me, please…..”. Ghazz bangun semula dan mengeluarkan pisau lipat. “Don’t move”, he said. Dia lalu memotong tali yang mengikat pergelangan tanganku. Aku bingkas bangun dan memeluknya.

“Ghazz……it’s okay, I’m here with you….”, aku memujuknya. Ghazz masih teresak menangis.

“I will stay with you for as long as you want me too…..it's just me and you here”, aku menangis terasa hancur hidupku without Hans tetapi aku terpaksa berjanji  so I can gain Ghazz trust.

Hari-hari yang berlalu terasa indah dan bebas. Ghazz mula menaruh kepercayaan padaku. Kami hidup seperti pasangan berbulan madu. Keluar dinner setiap malam, kami bershopping dikebanyakan kedai bergenama dan besiar-siar di kota Budapest, Hungary. He just loves to shower me with new clothes and shoes. I am discovering the new Ghazz and he is such a different person. Aku tak pernah rasa seselesa ini berada di sampaing Ghazz in a long time.  We spent lots of time touring the city and I love visiting Buda Castle.

Funicular ride on steam at Buda Castle.

At the top.

The entrance of Buda Castle.

An artist taking a break at Buda's Castle

Street musician at Buda Castle

Homemade Marzipan sold at Buda Castle

Ya, aku kini berada di Budapest satu masa dahulu di bawah pemerintahan komunis. Pada 1989 Hungary menjadi sebuah negara republik domokrasi berparlimen. Tidak pernah aku bayangkan di culik di bawa lari hingga ke sini. Dari hari ke sehari aku belajar untuk menyayangi Ghazz. Aku melayaninya seperti seorang kekasih dan menuruti segala permintaannya. Hans, maafkan aku wherever you are......

Budapest, Hungary

Hungarian State Opera House ( a UNESCO world heritage site)

The Sándor Palace is the official residence of the President of Hungary

The Parliament at the banks of River Danube.

Heroes Square

Aku terpaksa mengikut rentak Ghazz. Memang aku benci dengan Ghazz but aku masih teruskan permainan aku. Biar dia menyayangi aku dan menaruh kepercayaan terhadap aku. Itu yang aku mahu. It will give me time to figure out my next plan.....

Every night I pray that Hans rest in peace and I will miss him. Mungkin juga nasibku akan berakhir di sini dengan lelaki yang aku benci. Lelaki yang telah berulang-ulang kali mencabul kehormatanku yang selama ini aku protect. Lelaki yang di dalam kamusnya tiada perkataan No! Mungkin ini balasan ke atas aku. Mungkin...., mungkin...., banyak kemungkinan......Kalau di takdirkan aku berkahwin juga dengan Ghazz, aku redha. Hidup dengan seorang fugitive and living in captivity seperti burung di dalam sangkar emas. Ke mana aku nak lari? Dengan siapa aku hendak minta tolong? Aku sendiri tak tahu apa plan Ghazz seterusnya. Aku setia menurut perintah.

Kau memang bodoh Ghazz....sampai bila kau boleh lari? Kita ada undang-undang, lambat laun kau pasti akan tertangkap. Pembunuh! Pemeras ugut? Penculik? Wah berbunga sungguh resume kau Ghazz.

Hans if you hear me....you always have my love.