Chapter 17 - All My Life....

Part 1.

Hans was true to his words. I woke up and Hans left just as he said he would. I missed him already. I got up and took a quick shower. Got dress and called up room service for breakfast. This time I wanna surprise Hans. In less than half an hour breakfast arrived at my front door.

I left my room and push the breakfast cart to Hans room. I wonder if he is already up or still curled in his bed. After 2 knocks, the door opened and he looks like he just got out of the shower. He smiled and looked surprised that I came with breakfast. “Good morning, did you sleep well? I have got us some breakfast. I hope you are hungry…” I said.

                                                  

“Babe, you didn't have to do this.”He was surprised. We hugged and he gave me a kiss. “Come on in. I baru lepas mandi. Just let me put something on.” Hans invited me in.

“Sure take your time. I’ll have the food ready…” aku sibuk mengatur makanan di atas coffee table. Suddenly he came from behind and slides his arms diagonally around me. Aku terkejut, “Hans, I’m holding a pot of hot coffee….Nanti tumpah….”, and gently he took the pot off my hand and placed it on the table. His other hand still intact wrapped around my waist.

He turned me around and now I am facing directly at him.  Now his free hand placed on my left hand. He lift it up and he planted a kiss on my knuckle just right next to my ring. “I am glad you still have it on…”

“I….aa….aa….” I was lost with words. “You better say something before I kiss you again….” Hans teased me. I squeeze my way out from his arms but he hold on to me caused I could easily tripped over his foot. He slowly let go of his arms…..

Aku senyum….”Smooth Hans,….smooth…” he smiled at me. “Missed you too….”I said to Hans. I passed him a plate of French toast with honey.

Dia menyambut and right away digged in. I took mine and walked out to the balcony and sat on the patio chair. Just enjoying the morning weather and my warm croissant. Hans came out in his bathrobe and joined me. He kissed me on my right cheek and sat next to me.

“Beautiful morning isn’t it?", aku berkata sambil memerhatikan langit kebiruan dengan kepulan awan putih beselerakkan.

“Indeed. I suka tengok perubahan pada diri you this morning. You look refreshed and just like the Tika I know.", and he smiled. Aku cuma tersenyum dan memandang ke arah bangunan depan. Segan nak pandang Hans....

You know what? Let’s go out today. Walk around. Check out their shops. Visit historical sights. Be a tourist for the day. It’s a new day for you…..what do you think?” Hans suggested.

“I like your idea. Alright I’m game.” Aku bersetuju. “Now you go and put something on…before you catch a cold.”

He got up, kissed my wrist and said, “Nice smell. Light Blue? (Aku mengangguk) Come in. A bit chilly this morning.” I walked in with him. I sat on the sofa and finished my croissant. Hans grabbed his coffee and left me in the living room.

After I am done with my coffee Hans still hasn’t come out. What is taking him so long? I got up and barged in into his room.  At that moment I saw him putting on his shirt. I can see his well toned body. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ....…..”, aku tertunduk malu but the image of his body keeps lingering in my mind…..

“No, no, it’s alright. I was just on the phone with my dad. Come over here. Come closer to me....", he said.

“I’ll just wait for you outside. No problem…” aku malu dengan tindakan aku tadi.

“Babe come here…”

“Hans….tak mau, I segan la….”

What surprised me next was when he held out his hands and instantly I grabbed hold of them.  Hilang rasa malu tadi secara tiba-tiba.  Was I teasing him??

Now, I am standing in front of him and he said, “Help me with the shirt buttons…”, aku rasa nak tergelak and I instantly buried my face with my both hands laughing.

“Oh you find it so funny ya….”, he start tickling me on my neck. I tried avoiding his long fingers crawling all over my neck…..

“Ok,….ok…..I ‘ll help. You're such a baby….” Aku tergelak lagi. He kissed me on the neck. Meremang bulu tengkukku. “Stand still...., nanti kita lambat pulak….” And I kissed him back.

Part 2.

It is a new day for me. I am positive I am able to lead a normal and healthy life with Hans. I am falling for him everyday.  We connect with our inner feelings and we let it out. 

We walked, we hugged and talked about anything and everything. We stopped for coffee and pastries. Spent lunch in a Syrian Restaurant and shopped a bit before it was time to return to the hotel.

As we entered in the car taking us back to the hotel I am already curled up in Hans’s arm. “I had a great time today. Thank you very much for being here with me.” Hans kissed my head a couple of time and he kept his silence. And I understood……….

Part 3.

Back in my hotel room Hans received a phone call and I decided to leave him in the living room while I go and freshen up in the washroom. I barely could hear what the conversation was all about. After I was done I came out and saw Hans was just lying on the sofa. I went close and kissed him on his forehead and sat down side ways on the floor next to the sofa.

“Is everything alright Hans? He looked up to me and smiled. “Yes everything is alright. Why?”, he replied.

“I noticed you seem quiet since we were in the car tadi…” aku bertanya.

“Just a little bit tired I think but after some rest I should be okay….”, he tried to convince me. “I got a call from the Investigative Officer handling your kidnapping case. They are satisfied with their investigation and have a very strong case against Ghazz. They are going to charge Ghazz with conducting illegal money laundering. He will be charged on Monday and trial begins once the court has set a date. If he is found guilty he will either go to jail or fine or both. Then he will be extradite back to  Malaysian and charge him with attempted murder and kidnapping. He is currently in detention but next week after the court hearing they will determined if he can get out on bail.”

Aku duduk diam mendengar penjelasan Hans. Basically what he is saying Ghazz would probably be out on bail. Aku takut Ghazz akan datang mencari aku lagi.

"Are any of his family members here to be with him?", aku bertanya.

"That I am not sure.....are you still concern about Ghazz?", Hans wanted to know.

"Jangan salah anggap ya Hans, being alone in a foreign country without family or friends sangat tersisih...", I replied.

"Yes, I faham but he should have thought about the consequences before he did all the terrible things.....Let's not talk about him, alright?", Hans replied.

“Babe, are you ready to go home? Home to Malaysia?” Hans bertanya.

Aku tunduk memandang dan membelek-belek cincin pemberian Hans. “I am ready if it means for us to start our life together. I tak mahu dihantui oleh masa lampau I. I wanna build a life with you.” Aku menjawab.

Hans mengusap rambutku. I turned and looked at him. “Come and lay down next to me.” He said. I got up and gently snuggle next to him.

“Ok this is the deal. We will visit the Ambassador depending when I can set up an appointment with him. Just to thank for his hospitality. Then I want to take you to a special place. It’s a surprise okay. We’ll spend about 7-10 days there and then we head home. How does that sound?”  It sounded to me as though he had already made plans well in advance.

“When did you plan all this? What about your work?” aku musykil sebab dah lama sangat  dia meninggalkan kerjanya.

“I thought of it last night after I spoke to my dad. Work? My dad’s own the company and he wants me to take time off. He said I have been working hard. And I decided to extend my leave and take you far away from all the misery. I'm glad that I've made the right decision...” He smiled.

“Babe, I love you so much….”, he kissed my right cheek. He wrapped me tighter.

“I love you too, Hans. I love you.” Aku mengaku akhirnya.

“But can you give me a clue of where we’re going?’I asked excitedly. Hans pinched my nose.

“Oh nak clue pulak……(he slowly stroke my hair back)…..it’s a country with exquisite coastal lines and the land of Godfather…” he nibble my ears. Aku tergelak kegelian.

“Italy?”aku meneka.

“Hmmmm…..and tonight we we'll have dinner on a river boat cruise. We'll leave for Rome the day after tomorrow ok? ” Hans menjawab and kissed me again on my cheek. 

"You really know how to make your woman feel so special, Hans" I said and kissed his hand.

"That's not a difficult job because I only have one woman to impress and I am committed to make this relationship last forever with you Tika." he answered plain and simple.

We both fell a sleep on the sofa…………

Credit to KCiAndJoJoVEVO and You Tube

Chapter 16 - .Just the way you are.

Part 1.

Sampai saja kami di hadapan hotel, Hans ingin mengangkatku keluar.

“ I am alright. I can walk. Just let me hang on to you.” aku berkata pada Hans.

“Let me carry you up to the room. You are not strong enough to walk.” Hans insist.

“Hans, really I am alright.” aku berdegil.

“No you’re not. Degil…” Hans memarahi aku. “Ok, hold on to me tightly. We don’t want to be spending the night in the hospital.”

As we stood outside the car, we hung on to each other. I stood in front of Hans and he didn’t move. I slowly rested my body against his. My heart is pounding waiting for Hans's response. There was a sense of lightness the moment he had his hands on my face and lift it up. “Degil…” he said.

I immediately pressed my body and both arms wrapped around him. “I am not.” aku membalas.

“Oh yeah….you are.” Hans said. We stood on the street in each others arms. It was a cool windy night. “Come let’s get inside. It’s getting cold.”Hans said.

Part 2.

We stopped on the 6^th floor. He walked me to my room. “Ok this is where I stop. You go ahead rest and take a warm shower. I need to do the same. I’ll come by again in one and a half hour with dinner. No worries, it’s home cooked straight from our Ambassador’s kitchen.” And that is the Hans I know. Always makes me helpless……

“It sounds delicious. I can’t wait.” Aku tersenyum sambil meraba-raba poket jaketku untuk mencari  the door access card...."Found It..."

He kissed my forehead and let go of his hand. He turned  and walked straight to his room which was just two doors away. Aku masih bersandar di pintu bilik dan memerhatikan Hans. Dia menoleh and signaled me to get into the room.  Aku tersenyum dan melambai-lambaikan access card. I opened the door and went in.

I should be embarrassed the way I behave this evening. Was I too aggressive? I lay on the sofa and stared around the room.  Hans is the guy I’ve been looking. He will go out all of his way to make our life special. I do not need a certain special occasion from him to show me how much he loves me, he can easily turn my every day in to a special moment. I know I need to move on but my past does play an integral part in my day to day decision. But what I know now, I need to gain my confidence. I need to learn to love him. I don’t want to lose him again.

Tepat pukul 7:30 malam a knock on the door. "Mesti Hans..." 

Aku membuka pintu and there he was pushing the dinner cart.

“Room Service. May I come in?” Hans smiled. Aksinya membuatku tergelak. My first laugh in a while.

“Please come in.” aku mempersilakan dia masuk. He turned and closed the door. When he saw me he hugged, “Dah mandi? You still look quite pale, babe.”

“Dah mandi dah. I’m alright but memang rasa lemah sikit. But now you are here I know you definitely will feed me well kan?” aku mengusik Hans.

“Well, apa tunggu lagi, come let’s eat…you also looked like you lost a lot of weight”, said Hans and he placed all the food on the dining table. “Come have a look. We have goulash, stuffed capsicum, brown rice and for dessert it’s flόdni, which is layered pastry consist of jam, walnut, apple and poppy seed.” Explained Hans dengan panjang lebar.

“Thanks Hans they looked delicious. But I wanna start with dessert. Tak ada selera sangat nak makan nasi…” aku buat keputusan and grabbed a slice of the layered pastry. It is sweet and tasty. Hans had the rice and goulash. He seems to enjoy his food very much.

We talked about what’s been happening back home while I was gone. Aku terhibur sekali malam ni. Tak kering gusi aku dibuatnya with all the jokes he shared. Another sight of him yang aku tidak pernah perasan. Aku dapat lihat sifat pemalunya dari riak mukanya bila bercerita. Banyak pandang ke bawah dan will lift his head when comes to punch line followed by a wide smile.  Hans,……you make me weak. You are my forever guy……he seems just like a fictional character but to have one right in front of you…..I must be the luckiest woman in the world.

“Babe….Babe…”

“Hhmmmm…..”aku jawab malas dan memandang Hans.

“You did not stop smilling for the past 30 seconds. Anything you wanna share…? Hans bertanya.

“Really? Nah, its nothing…......Actually, yes. Hans, tonight has been a lovely experience for me. You made a simple day become special.”  I stood up and walked towards Hans. He stood up and he held out his hands. I reached to him and placed his arms around me.  I was in my comfort zone and sigh,”Hans, kalau dulu I only understood cinta sebagai perasaan kasih dan sayang towards your partner, I silap. Cinta itu….bila dua jiwa bertemu and it becames one. I am very much crazy about you….you know kan…….? With all that's happened sudikah lagi you menerima I seadanya…..always be there for me?” I looked up and he was already looking at me.

“You are my vitamin and I need my vitamins everyday. Of course I terima you seadanya Tika. You adalah segala-galanya dalam hidup I,....and you too kena terima baik buruk I juga….”, he pulled me up. My head rested on his toned chest….and his hands held tight around my waist.

Credit to Bruno Mars and You Tube

Using his right hands he tilted my chin and gave me a soft kiss…..”From the very moment I saw you at the clinic, I wanna kiss you but I was afraid you might reject me…..and at any time if you wanna stop, we stop alright.”

He looked deep into my eyes. Tilting his head to the left he placed another soft kiss on my lips. My knees were shaking but he held me tight. And a third kiss landed before I get a chance to close my mouth.  I have fainted once before from this kiss…..please don’t make me faint again. The kiss lasted a few seconds and he gave me all the space I needed. I had my eyes closed all the time…..

I pushed him slightly, “I think we better stop before I faint again….”. Aku ketawa….so did Hans. We let go of each other and just sat holding hands on the sofa.  

We didn’t say much. We didn’t have too…..we communicated in our silent way. We had staring eye contest. Siapa kalah kena urut kaki juara….hahaha that was cute. It was a draw so we each get to massage each others leg. Sometimes we looked at each other and smile. One time he tried braiding my hair and it was catastrophic.    

Times past so fast when you are having a good time. Hans got up and sat up straight.

“Babe, are you willing to share your life with me? “, our fingers clamped.

“Yes, Hans. And will you share your life with me?” aku membalasnya.

“Yes, Atikah……he stood up and walked to his jacket laying on the bed. He came back and passed me a small silver box , “Open it….go a head.”

I opened and there was the biggest diamond ring I've ever seen. I took it out and looked at Hans. “It’s beautiful Hans and is this what I think it is.….?”, Aku begitu terkejut dan terharu.

Hans took the ring from me and placed it on my left hand ring finger.  “I have been carrying this ring in my pocket for the last 3 months. This is to seal our relationship. Let’s build a life together.” Aku mengangguk tanda setuju. We sat on the couch the whole night in each other’s arm enjoying the cool breeze of wind blowing in through the balcony.

“I will wait until you fall asleep than I’ll go back to my room…”, he placed a kiss on my head.

"Thanks Hans...." aku layu dalam dakapannya.

Chapter 15 - Híd a folyót (Bridge Over the River)

Part 1.

Malam itu aku tidak dapat tidur. Puas aku memaksa mata ini.... Aku beralih posisi dari kiri kemudian ke kanan tetapi masih tidak dapat melelapkan mata. Kadang-kadang aku mencuri memerhatikan Hans yang enak tidur di atas sofa.

Ini yang aku mahukan? You are save now Tika. You have to move on with your life....tapi macamana aku hendak menyayangi Hans dengan keadaanku yang tidak suci lagi? Aku malu dengan Hans. Aku malu memikirkan nasibku. How am I supposed to deal with my family and Hans's family? Walaupun Hans berkata yang dia ingin aku lupakan perkara yang telah lalu, mampukan mereka melupakannya especially Hans? Mungkin ada baiknya kalau Hans mati tempohari. Than I wouldn't be in this mess. Apa cerita Ghazz sekarang agaknya? Will he be extradite back to Malaysia?

Aku bangun dengan perlahan dan berjalan menuju ke arah Hans and stood staring at him. Ingin saja aku memeluknya just that I could feel safe in his arms. Instead aku menyelimuti Hans dan duduk memandang Hans dengan kusyuknya di tepi sofa. It is really comforting having him next to me. Sambil menelan air liur jari jemariku bergerak dengan perlahan dari tangan hingga ke hujung jarinya. Fikiranku melayang tatkala aku memejamkan mata. Ah, nanti dia terjaga pulak....Aku bingkas bangun tetapi aku rasa tanganku di tarik. Aku terperanjat lalu berlari ke satu ceruk bilik tidur.

"Tika, I'm sorry....I'm sorry...I didn't mean to scare you." Hans memujukku. Dia menghulurkan tangannya untuk mendapat kepercayaanku.

"Come. Let me help you up and we go back to your bed...ok?"Hans patiently trying to persuade me to take his hands.

I hesitate but little by little I extended my hands and finally Hans grabbed my fingers. I pulled back and he let go. "It's ok....you take your time....I am here because I wanna help you. Let me help you Tika." Hans sounded like a psychologist.

Aku masih tidak berganjak. Aku tunduk sambil memekap lututku dengan kedua-dua tanganku.  Hans got up and retreat back to the sofa. He lay down and looked at me. Took a deep breathe and placed his hands behind his head.

Yes I still have feelings for him. Times we spent together kept playing in my mind as I stared at him laying on the sofa. I picked up enough strength to get up and walked to my bed. I lay down on my left side so I have a full view of him. We just looked at each other.

"Do you remember the first time we met at Starbucks that morning?" Hans bertanya. Pandangannya masih tertumpu padaku. "You made my heart flutter, just like the feeling when you have butterflies in your stomach....." Hans tersenyum. "It was the best feeling I ever had!"

Aku tersenyum dan mengalih badan ke kananku. Of course aku ingat......silly cow...sebuah senyuman terukir dibibirku.

"I had to asked you if you would like to have coffee with me...Actually I segan in the beginning but kalau I tak tanya I akan menyesal. Glad you said yes." Hans terus bercerita.

Kelakar sungguh Hans.....I turned to my left again and looked at him....I can't help it but smiled at him...."I'm glad you asked me...", aku menjawab.

"That smile you have on now....don't ever lose it....." kata Hans sambil tersenyum.

"And that smile on your face.....is what kept me going all this time, Hans", tiba-tiba aku rasa air mataku jatuh ke atas cadar putih. Aku membiarkan saja. "I am really sorry to trouble everyone concern especially you. You came all the way from Malaysia. I owe you my life. Kalau you tak jumpa I at Starbucks, semua ni takkan terjadikan?"

"Karutlah. Everything happens for a reason. Babe,....so what's going to happen to us? You wanna out of this relationship? You tell me...." Hans sounded he's giving up on me.

"Hans don't give up on me....all I'm asking is some time for me to regain back my confidence. I feel embarrassed not only to myself but to you and your family. I have no words to explain the circumstances I was in.  I lost my dignity, Hans...." I got up and sat on the bed facing him.

"Alright. If time is what you want, you'll have it." Hans berkata lalu memejamkan matanya. "Good night".

Part 2.

Aku membaling bantal ke arah Hans, "Is that all you've got?

"Tika, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Ramai lagi orang kat luar di sana yang being ill treated lagi teruk dari you. Just be grateful with what you have Tika. At least you are alive....you gave me strength Tika. I don't think I was able to fight the pain myself when I was hospitalized." he throw back the pillow towards me. Aku membiarkan bantal mengena badanku.

"I am sorry that I wasn't there for you, Hans.....When I was taken away I thought you were,......dead and Ghazz seems to implant that information in my mind. I rasa dunia I gelap. Then the very first time he touched me, I just wanna die....did not imagine that I lost my virginity to a slime like Ghazz....then came the second, the third and later anytime he feels like it. I fulfilled his sexual appetite and is this the woman you still desire?"

I lay down again....."There were times I bled but no one knew. At times my stomach really hurts no one knew. And now I might be pregnant...I'm late by one week."

"I know, I cannot imagine what you went through." Hans berkata.

"Yeah, so stopped judging me then......every night I cried to sleep thinking of you being shot and that I lost you forever. I had nothing left and hell yes, I felt sorry for myself." aku terus mengiring ke kanan.

Hans diam. Aku pun diam. I know he is not sleeping. Akhirnya aku yang terlena.....

Part 3.

Aku terjaga bila aku rasa perutku memulas. Pedih sungguh. Aku bangun dari katil dan memanggil Hans but he is no where in the room. Sambil menekan perut aku berjalan terhoyang-hayang menuju ke bilik air.  Aku terasa ada sesuatu mengalir dari celah peha....aku tunduk dan mengangkat bajuku.... ....oh no....aku terkejut. Darah? My monthly period? Mungkin I am not pregnant after all.....tapi kenapa sakitnya....

Buk! aku terjatuh di depan pintu bilik air. Aku gagahkan diri untuk mengesot masuk ke dalam bilik air untuk membasuh diriku. Tapi darah masih banyak lagi keluar. I felt as though I wanna passed out. Aku capai tuala yang tergantung di pintu shower dan cuba mengelap lantai yang kini sudah di penuhi dengan darah. Baunya sangat hanyir sehingga aku sendiri hendak muntah. Aku tak larat lagi untuk bergerak........

The next thing I knew, I was laying in a hospital bed. As I opened my eyes I saw Hans sitting next to me and caressing my hand.

"Hans..., where am I?", aku bertanya.

"Babe, (diangkatnya tanganku lalu dikucupnya beberapa kali) alhamdulillah you dah sedar. You are now in the hospital. Housekeeping found you passed out in the hotel room." Hans menjelaskan.

"There's was so much blood. I tried to wipe off the floor....", Hans mencelah....

"Shhhh.... sudah, sudah, don't talk, you rehat ok. I'll go and get the doctor", sambil melepaskan tangan aku. Aku menarik tangan Hans kembali...

"I looked for you but you tak ada tadi.....please don't leave me alone Hans", aku tidak mahu ditinggalkan bersendirian.

"I have to get the doctor. Sekejap saja ya....just close your eyes and count to twenty. I'll be back before you reach fifteen." convinced Hans and he left.

A few minutes later Hans came back with the doctor. He took my blood pressure and temperature.

The doctor smiled and said, "Miss Atikah right? Everything looks stable. You blood pressure has stabilized and you have not developed a fever. That's very good. You are  a strong woman. We manage to stop the bleeding. You had a miscarriage and you have nothing to worry. You still can try again to get pregnant. Your husband was very worried about you. He insisted to be in the O.R. when we performed the D & C.", terang doctor muda itu.

"Miscarriage? Husband? Ghazz? Hans?", aku terkedu....sudah pastinya anak Ghazz....aku menangis bukan kerana sedih akan kehilangan anak yang aku kandungi tapi menangis relief kerana anak si iblis telah berjaya di lupuskan. Am I being mean when I said that? Anak itu tak berdosa.....

"Please get a lot of rest and I will come back to see you again tomorrow", pesan doktor sebelum dia melangkah keluar.

"Doctor, I don't want to stay here. I want to go back to the hotel. Hans, please Hans?" aku memujuk doktor dan Hans. Hans has never left my side. Stood there holding my hand.

"We would encourage you to stay over night here for observation but you seem to have stabilized ....wait let me check your medical record and speak with the nurses. I'll be back." And the doctor with perfect American accent left.

Aku memaling ke arah Hans, "Hans, boleh ya? I nak balik ke hotel. I tak mahu tinggal di sini....". Hans mengangguk tanda setuju. "Let's wait for the doctor, ok?", he said and came closer and gave me a kiss. Aku hanya membiarkan. Air mataku mengalir dengan deras. He wiped if off.....

On the way back to the hotel, berkumandang di radio lagu yand menjadi penemanku dikala aku merindui Hans. Our eyes never left each other. I was in his arms..............

Credit to Szilvi29 and You Tube

Intermission 5 - Szerelemre Hangolva (Side by side)

Assalamualaikum readers,

Wow dah sampai Chapter 14 and it's going on strong. So far I managed to post one chapter a week. I just want to take it slow and easy this Ramadhan month.

By the way, I want to introduce you all to my main male character. Initially I had one guy in mind to start off with this novel but obviously I can't have him play this character due to undisclosed reasons.

Then it started with a search for an elderly looking male model in Google and suddenly he popped up on to my screen. I did a research on him and there were pictures of him that I can use here. When I saw him the very first time I did not need to look back and further. I found what I was looking for. I would like to give credit to Google Image for sharing all pictures with the public.

This British guy is the face of Dolce & Gabbana 'Light Blue' cologne for men. I find him perfectly fit to play the character of Hans. Yes, ladies he is single at the moment....! He is 36 years of age and his name is David James Gandy. Ok, berangan saja tak pa ye jangan lebih-lebih.....You can read more about him on the internet. What are the odds finding someone as good looking as him to have a few things in common with me? Hahaha.....I happened to know about it when I listened to a few of his interviews. Yup, lots of homework y'all.....I akan kaji dulu sedalam-dalamnya character David Gandy untuk apply dalam jalan cerita ini.....what's his likes, what's his dislike, his preference in clothing and etc..... I will repeat watching it until I really dapat the 'feel'.

So Tika was saved. Hans has his Tika back. Ghazz arrested. What's next? Oh yes, what about the urine test and full medical report? Is Tika pregnant? Will there be wedding bells????

Ok, let me see what does my crystal ball says........hehehe...it says, wait for the coming chapter.

So, I share with you another Hungarian song for your listening pleasure. Such a nice song. Loving it. Thanks for the lyrics also from 27kada. Enjoy.....

Credit to 27kada and You Tube

Az életembe léptél máról a holnap így lett más veled.

Mert értelmet nyert minden, megköszönni mindezt, hogy tudnám most neked.

 Így érzem, rég bár érthetnéd köztünk a távolság, mint föld és ég. 

Szerelemre hangolva

bár csak minden dalban értünk szólna a legszebb hang a csend után.

Szerelemre hangolva, 

mint a szó s a dallam összeforrva, félek ránk más, ami vár.

If there's no you there's no me

You're with me through the day and you are there in my dreams,

The more I learn about you

Stronger grows the sorrow cos I know , we will never be

Burning hearts

Gentle touch

It's the power of us coming close

                                

Everytime I close my eyes

I can see you I can feel you near me

Side by side, still alone

I dont wanna realize

You and me will never be together

Side by side, I walk alone

(hoooo...yeah….. I walk aloneeee)

Szerelemre hangolva 

bár csak minden dalban értünk szólna a legszebb hang a csend után.

Szerelemre hangolva, 

mint a szó s a dallam összeforrva, félek ránk más, ami vár.

  

(uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....)

I don’t wanna realize

You and me will never be together

Side by side, félek ránk

Side by side

Más, ami vár

I walk alone

Más, ami vár

I walk alone

Chapter 14 - Someone Like You (Olyan mint Te)

Part 1

My period is late this month. Aku mula risau. Ghazz informed that he has set up an appointment for me to see an OBGYN. Aku pregnant ke? Let it not be…..oh my,....now I’m scared.

Setelah berada 4 minggu di Budapest aku memang buntu bagaimana hendak melepaskan diri. Aku tahu tindakan Ghazz akan lebih menganas tapi aku kena juga cari jalan untuk melepaskan diri dari sini. Sampai bila harus aku hidup begini.

Aku tiada access ke dunia luar, no cellphone, no internet, no computer yang hanya ada cable TV yang bahasanya aku tidak faham. Saban hari aku melayan local MTV channel. Hanya lagu-lagu dari local artist really beri sedikit escapism dari hatiku yang duka lara. Among my favorites are 'Hid a folyot' and 'Olyan Mint Te' by Szekeres Adrianne as well as 'Szerelemre hangolva' by Dobrady Akos featuring Emelia. These are among the most beautiful Hungarian love song that I've been listening lately. Music is universal. For me any song melody is good enough to recognized that it is a love song itu saja yang aku keep on listening.......hanya lagu-lagu ni penyambung cinta ku pada Hans. Aku hanya boleh hidup dalam angan-angan yang Hans masih bersamaku....Oh Hans,....tak tertanggungku menampung airmata yang bertakung di kelopak mataku....

Credit to Rita Nemeskeri and You Tube

No other glance that could stir my blood,

No other touch that could repress my voice,

And could rock me to sleep with a sprinkle of airy dreams,

there is no one else like you, I know it for sure .

I've been to the rocky mountains

I've been to the treasure island

There's no place on earth

Which would not be a prison,

If you are not there or would not come with me.

No other glance that could stir my blood,

No other touch that could repress my voice,

And could rock me to sleep with a sprinkle of airy dreams,

there is no one else like you, I know it for sure.

I had seen the beautiful on the outside,

I had believed the bitter was sweet .

The way I see you,

I've never seen anyone else yet, so beautiful,

I have known it for long ...

No other glance that could stir my blood,

No other touch that could repress my voice,

And could rock me to sleep with a sprinkle of airy dreams,

there is no one else like you, I know it for sure.

Fate has given me so many chances,

But did not take me anywhere

Beyond desires and words,

Now I found it in you.

No other glance that could stir my blood,

No other touch that could repress my voice,

And could rock me to sleep, there are no words......

there is no one else like you, I know it for sure.

No other glance that could stir my blood,

No other touch that could repress my voice,

And could rock me to sleep with a sprinkle of airy dreams,

there is no one else like you, I know it for sure.

There is no one else like you, I know it for sure.

There is no one else like you, I know it for sure.

There is no other glance............

Dah naik muak aku duduk in captivity in this room. Aku tak tahu ke mana Ghazz pergi. Setiap hari dia akan menghilangkan diri dari pukul 7 pagi hingga 2 petang. Kemudian dia akan pulang dengan berbagai-bagai hadiah untukku seperti baju, make-up, kasut dan handbag yang mahal-mahal. Aku tak perlu semua itu….I just wanna get out of here.

Waktu siangku terperap di dalam bilik sejak akhir-akhir ini. Ghazz tidak lagi membawaku keluar kecuali di waktu lewat malam untuk dinner. Perangainya agak pelik kadang kala…..murung tak tentu pasal. Ada sekali aku nampak Ghazz membaling vase ke arah Spark. Luckily it missed him. Kalau tak mesti kecoh. Seriously I have no idea what kind of business is Ghazz dealing with and I don't give a damned. Money seems not an issue for him...I mean only Ghazz can afford to own a luxury apartment complex.

On and off, I have seen two local women coming in and out of the complex but I never had close contact with them. Every time they are here I was forced to move into another room. Then I came back to my room when it is all well made up and cleaned. Maybe I should make contact dengan mereka tapi mereka faham ke Bahasa Inggeris? Yes, aku akan tinggalkan nota di dalam bilik atau tandas. But can I trust them? Kalau Ghazz tahu mati aku dikerjakannya. But if I don’t do something sampai bila-bila pun aku akan terkurung di sini.

Part 2.

There was knock on the door and I heard it unlocked.“Hi sayang, are we ready to go to the doctor's ?” tanya Ghazz.

“I’m scared Ghazz….what if I’m pregnant Ghazz?” aku berbisik. Aku tidak mahu orang Ghazz mendengar.

“There’s nothing to be scared about. I will be there all the way.”Ghazz tried to convince me. I grabbed his right arm.

“Ghazz, what do you mean by that?” aku mula panic.

“Shhhh…if you don’t want me to hurt you, just shut-up and let’s go….” Ghazz started to raise his voice. He pulled me and gave me a kiss, a hard kiss on the lips. I wiped it off.

Aku mengikut saja sebab aku tidak mahu create tension yang mana nanti aku akan menjadi mangsa. Aku menyandang handbagku dan mengikut Ghazz dari belakang. Kami menaiki kereta BMW dan Ghazz seems to be very quiet tonight. He didn’t speak a single word throughout the trip to the doctor’s.

Sampai kami ke sebuah jalan belakang yang agak gelap, kami keluar dan menuju ke arah pintu yang dibuka seperti tahu saja akan ketibaan kami. Ruang menunggu kosong dan kami terus berjumpa seorang doctor wanita.  Doctor tersebut menyuruh Ghazz menunggu di luar semasa dia menjalankan pemeriksaan kesihatan ke atasku. Ghazz was a little hesitant but gave in and left not before he kissed me.

“I will be just right outside if you need me. Don’t think of doing something that you will regret.”bisik Ghazz semasa dia memelukku.

“I’ll leave you in good hands….Doctor I’ll be right outside.” Kata Ghazz. Doctor wanita tadi tersenyum tawar dan mengangguk. Ghazz keluar meninggalkan kami berdua di dalam consultation room.

“I need your urine in this container.” The doctor instructed me. I went into the washroom and compile my urine in the small container.  Seram sejuk aku rasa.

As I came out of the washroom, I was surprised to see another gentleman standing next to the lady doctor. I handed her the container.

“Please sit down, madam….”said the gentleman.

“I would like to speak to you. Please do not be scared. My real name is Detective Janos from the local police and I have been collaborating with the Interpol. (Interpol? Apa kaitan Interpol and my medical check up...) I also have two other detective from Malaysia with me…..”.

"Malaysia? ....yes, yes,...I am from Malaysia. I was....., " I got so excited but keep on checking the door for any moment Ghazz will just storm in. “How did you get here?”aku bertanya.

“Madam that is not important. We are here to save you and get you out of here safe.” said the detective.

“But about the man outside? He is waiting for me…..he would suspect something is wrong.”aku menjelaskan dengan nada ketakutan.

“Our police has caught him and he is now in police custody….” Belum sempat detektif itu habis bercakap aku menerpa ke pintu dan membukanya. Aku pandang sekeliling and Ghazz was no where to be seen…..I looked back at the doctor than to the detektif....

“What am I supposed to do now….he’s all I know in this country.”aku mula teresak-esak menangis. Aku duduk di luar bilik doctor dan memekupkan mukaku dengan kedua-dua tanganku.

“Tika…..” Aku tersentak. Aku kenal suara itu. Tak mungkin. Aku nampak dia di tembak oleh Ghazz. Maybe I was just imagining things. No, it can’t be him…

“Tika,…its me Hans, look at me babe.” Suara Hans kedengaran jelas. Only Hans calls me Babe. Aku mendongakkan kepalaku dan mengesat airmata. Pandanganku jelas sekarang.

“Hans? Is that really you?” I asked for reassurance.

“Yes, Babe it’s me. Hans.” as he walked slowly towards me.

“No!.....but I saw you got shot and you lay down in a pool of blood….you can’t be alive. I must be dreaming.” Aku seolah tidak mahu percaya yang Hans ada di hadapanku.

Detective Jonas interrupted, “Madam, this is Mr Hans. He came from Malaysia to take you back. With his assistance and two other detectives we managed to apprehend Mr Ghazz and his men. You will have to follow us to the police station and file a report against Mr Ghazz. This was all a set-up. The doctor is a police detective and as a doctor in disguise.”

Hans mencelah, “Detective Jonas can’t she come to the station tomorrow? She is quiet traumatized.”

“No, it is better to do it now while the information is still fresh.” said the detective.

“Tika are you up to it, babe?” Hans bertanya aku. Aku confused tetapi menganggukkan kepala tanda setuju. Polis wanita atau doctor tadi membantu aku bangun, “Please don’t take me back to the apartment complex again.”aku merayu.

“No madam. We will not. We will bring all your things to the hotel.”janji detektif wanita tadi.

“Alright.” Aku membiarkan detektif wanita itu memapahku keluar dari klinik. Aku memandang ke arah Hans yang masih terjegat di tepi pintu. I am still not able to digest that he is here.

Hans cuba merapati aku tetapi di tahan oleh Detektif Jonas. Detektif Jonas menarik tangan Hans, “Mr Hans, you come in my car and please give her some time. Do not put too much pressure on her. She is scared and all this time the suspect has physically and mentally abused her. And on top of it she thought you were dead…”. Pesan Detektif Jonas.

“Yes, I’ll remember that and thank you.” jawab Hans.

“I’ll meet you at the station, babe…” sambil memerhatiku masuk ke dalam kereta polis.

Part 3.

Selesai membuat medical check-up dan memberi keterangan, aku di hantar terus ke hotel yang mana perbelanjaan di tanggung oleh Hans sepenuhnya. Semasa di hotel lobby Hans cuba mendekatiku tetapi setiap kali aku menjauhkan diri. Aku tak layak berada disampingnya. Aku kotor. Aku telah dinodai. Tak mungkin Hans inginkan aku lagi.

Malam itu aku ditemani oleh detektif wanita. Selepas aku mandi aku mengenakan gaun tidur....aku meraong sepuas-puasnya. Tiba-tiba pintu bilik air diterjah masuk....

"Babe is everything alright. I dengar you menangis, I thought you might be in pain...." Hans panic seketika, begitu juga detektif wanita yang menemani Tika.

"I hate this sleeping gown. It's just not me.....it will give me nightmares.....please get me something else". aku menjerit sambil mengoyakkan baju tidur pemberian Ghazz yang berjenama Victoria Secret. Aku teresak-esak.

Hans masih terjegat di pintu bilik air seolah-olah tidak percaya temper tantrum aku seperti berlagak diva. Hans terus merangkulku dari belakang, "Shhhhh.....it's okay we will get you something different to wear, alright." Detektif wanita pula cuba menyelimuti diri aku yang tidak berbaju dengan tuala mandi.

After I calmed down, Hans meninggalkan bilik aku tetapi dia kembali dengan membawa sehelai t-shirt kepunyaannya. "Here Tika, if this would make you much comfortable, wear it.." aku menyambut t-shirt tersebut lalu menyarung ke badan aku. Saat itu aku merasa selesa dan tenang. Aku melangkah ke arah bilik tidur dan terus duduk ditepi katil sambil mengadap tingkap. Aku mengesat airmata.

Hans mengarahkan detektif wanita itu pulang, "I will take care of her". Detektif wanita itu meninggalkan kad namanya dan berlalu pergi.

"Do you want some coffee or juice? We can order room service if you are hungry?" Hans memujukku.

"Not yet. Thanks" aku menjawab. "Hans,...."

"Yes babe?"

"Macamana you....."

"Boleh hidup lagi? Is that what you wanna asked me? Are you not happy to see me?" Hans bertanya.

"Bukan itu maksud I. I saw you being shot and there were blood everywhere....." jelasku sambil memandang sayu ke arah Hans.

"Yes I was shot but I survived, but what's important is I'm here with you. We can be together again Tika. Every day I wanna live to see you again....you are my strength babe," Hans menghampiri aku.

Aku bangun dan menjauhkan diriku darinya. "Please don't come any closer.....I am not the same Tika anymore. Ghazz sudah hancurkan masa depan I. I was his satisfying object, if you understand what I mean...."

"Tika, I tak mahu you fikirkan soal itu lagi. I am here with you. I loved you, still love you and will forever love you", Hans menghulurkan tangannya.

Aku ingin menyambut tangannya,..."I need time Hans....all this while I meratap kehilangan you and I left myself in the mercy of Ghazz everyday. Please give me some space to breathe.". Aku kembali duduk di katil.

"Ok babe, I understand. Would it be alright for me to accompany you tonight here?"

Aku hanya mengangkat bahu ku lalu berbaring di atas katil. Aku penat dan binggung...."Hans, can you get me some aspirin?

"Ok babe you rest. I'll call room service". Hans akur.

Chapter 13 - One More Time

Part 1.

“Dad, I’ve safely arrived. It’s cold and wet in Budapest. Yes,…I will drop by the Malaysian Embassy later today.” Hans was on his cellphone with his father.

“I will be staying at Carlton Budapest. Both DSP Sukri and SP Ghani are already here. They arrived in Budapest yesterday.”he added.

“Yes, I will take care of myself. Don’t worry Dad. Please send my regards to Mom and Hana…”, Hans mengakhiri perbualan dengan ayahnya.

Misi Hans ke Budapest ialah untuk menyelamatkan Tika. Setelah pertolongan Interpol dan Polis Bukit Aman, mereka berjaya mengesan Ghazz yang bersembunyi di Budapest. Hans terus ke Malaysian Embassy dan bertemu dengan kedua-dua pegawai polis dari Kuala Lumpur yang akan membantunya mencari Ghazz dan Tika. Sampai di Kedutaan Malaysia Hans dan pegawai polis dari Bukit Aman berjumpa dengan Mr Ahmad, yang merupakan Head of Chancery.

Hans registered himself at the Embassy and explained the reason he was in Budapest. Mr Ahmad said that he had arranged an appointment for all of them to meet the Chief of Police the day after tomorrow.

“Apa-apa pun, nasihat saya agar En. Hans jangan bertindak bersendirian. Kita berada di negara orang dan tolong patuhi undang-undang mereka. Ini kad saya, sila hubungi saya jika ada sebarang masalah.” pesan Mr. Ahmad.

“Insya Allah. Terima kasih.” jelas Hans sambil tersenyum.

“Oh ya, malam esok anda bertiga akan menjadi tetamu khas Duta Malaysia di sini…..ada jemputan makan malam dan dress code ialah suit dan black tie. Saya mendapat tahu dari Duta kita di sini, bapa En. Hans, Tan Sri Halim adalah rakan sekolah dengan Duta kita...…”, said Mr Ahmad as he passed the note left by the Ambassador to Hans.

“Terima kasih. Ya saya pun ada mendengar cerita yang mereka sudah berkawan lama. But anyway, we will be there.” Hans bersalaman dengan En. Ahmad. “Kalau tidak ada apa-apa lagi, kami minta diri dulu, En, Ahmad”.

“Yes, you need all the rest you can get.” said En. Ahmad.

Mereka bertiga meninggalkan Kedutaan Malaysia menuju ke Carlton Hotel. Setelah Hans checked-in mereka masing-masing berjanji untuk bertemu semula makan malam nanti.

Part 2.

I awoken by the sound of police siren and hoping that every time it passes by it will be the day I’d be rescued. Tapi siapa yang tahu aku ada di sini? Its been almost three weeks.  Aku mesti cari jalan untuk melarikan diri. Tapi ke mana? Kedutaan Malaysia? But how to get there….?

Aku seksa being with Ghazz. He doesn’t care what time of the day, if he wants me, I have to stripped and bend for him. Ghazz masih tidur nyenyak disebelahku. Aku rasa diri ini sangat kotor…..

I woke up naked dan berjalan menuju ke arah tingkap….sunyi sepi luar sana….tiada seorang pun yang lalu….

“Tika, sayang…..what are you doing?”, sapa Ghazz. Aku berjalan menuju ke katil. “Shhhh….nothing, I wanted to take a shower, you tidur dulu ok….”

“Come here sayang, get in bed with me….I don’t want to sleep alone….”Ghazz memujuk.

Malam tu aku tak tahu kali ke berapa dia memuaskan nafsunya. Aku sudah lali badanku diratah oleh Ghazz.  If it means for me to stay alive, to see another day, aku akan terus menjadi habuan Ghazz. He never intended to marry me….is that a good thing? Dia dah rosakkan aku dan tidak mahu bertanggungjawab?  Aku menangis dalam diam. Aku mengesat air mataku…..

“Ghazz, are we going out for dinner? I am hungry….” Aku bertanya sambil memandang ke muka Ghazz….

“Yes, sayang….(Ghazz naikkan keningnya)”….aku faham signalnya and it will take another half an hour before we’re done with our shower…….

Malam itu kami ke Szeráj Török Étterem, a 24 hours Turkish fast food restaurant. We ate in and enjoyed the delicious kebab. Ke mana saja kami pergi, kami ditemani oleh 2 orang body guard yang salah seorang darinya aku kenal. His name is Spark, and he was responsible of shoving me into Ghazz’s Porsche during the kidnaping incident. Selesai makan kami berjalan balik. I had my arms wrapped around Ghazz. It was a cold and wet night. While the two bodyguards tailed us in a car.

Part 3.

Selesai makan malam, DSP Sukri dan SP Ghani minta untuk pulang ke hotel dulu. Setelah mengucapkan selamat malam Hans decided to walk around. Sambil melihat kedai-kedai di kiri kanan jalan yang ratanya closed for the day, dia terpandang masih ramai lagi orang berjalan-jalan menikmati keindahan malam di bandaraya ini. Sekilas pandangan Hans tertumpu kepada  seseorang yang dia kenali dari seberang jalan. Dia berhenti untuk memastikan adakah sangkaannya betul tetapi pandangannya terlindung oleh sebuah bas yang sedang bergerak. Setelah bas berlalu, dia tercari-cari bayang orang tersebut, “Ah, is it just my imagination…..or aku dah hampir menjejaki Ghazz?”  Hans crossed the road to where he saw Ghazz and walked up north to see where the road leads him. The further he walked dia merasakan kawasan tersebut semakin sunyi dan tidak ramai pejalan kaki malam begini. Hans perasan ada apartment complex with security dan sederet row of shops di kanan jalan. He decided not to risk his safety and returned back to the hotel.

Part 4.

Keesokkan pagi Hans bersama kedua-dua pegawai polis dari Bukit Aman menunggu ketibaan En. Ahmad dari Kedutaan Malaysia. Tepat jam 8 pagi En Ahmad sampai dan mereka terus menuju ke Ibu Pejabat Polis di Budapest , 13^th District yang juga dikenali sebagai Police Palace.

Pertemuan dengan pegawai penyiasat dari Investigation serious crime serba sedikit memberi penjelasan status case penculikan Tika. Mereka menasihatkan supaya Hans tidak terlibat semasa operasi di jalankan atas sebab-sebab keselamatan as a civilian. DSP Sukri dan SP Ghani bersetuju dengan cadangan tersebut. Kehadiran Hans di Budapest ini boleh menjejaskan operasi mereka jika berjaya dihidu oleh Ghazz dan kuncu-kuncunya. Jelas kekecewaan di muka Hans but he has no choice other than lay low for the time being.

Operasi pertama telah pun dijalankan dan polis tahu di mana Ghazz bersembunyi. Dari operasi intipan jurufoto pihak polis dapat mengemukakan banyak foto-foto aktiviti Ghazz.  The police confirmed that Ghazz banyak menjalankan aktiviti pinjaman wang secara haram atau money laundering dengan mengenakan interest yang tinggi kepada peminjam. Hans membelek-belek gambar di atas meja dan dia ternampak Tika bersama Ghazz. Kebanyakkannya mengambarkan Tika seperti di dalam ketakutan dari riak airmukanya.

“Nampaknya Tika dijaga dengan baik oleh Ghazz….dari pakaian, kasut dan beg tangan semuanya dari jenama terkenal….”, bisik Hans di dalam hati.

“Is the gentleman in the picture married to this lady?”tanya Hans kepada jurufoto as he pointed Tika in the picture.

“We have yet to determine their status but she has been his faithful companion.” jelas jurufoto tadi. Hans rasa kecewa dengan jawapannya.

“We have an undercover police in the suspect's apartment complex and will try to set up a contact with the lady of the house. The problem now she is always guarded and accompanied by 2 bodyguards at all times when the suspect is away. Our informant confirmed the lady of the house will visit the doctor a day after tomorrow for a physical examination. We are not sure if she has any medical problem. Our strategy is to distract the body guards then we can get to her. We want to save her but we also need her to get to the suspect. We will put a bug in her handbag so that we can trace their daily activities, their ins and outs.” explained the police officer.

“But wouldn’t it be dangerous if the bug is found on the lady?”, tanya DSP Sukri. Hans mengangguk setuju.

“We will instruct her  what to do when we get to speak to her”, kata pegawai polis tadi.

“It sounds dangerous for her to be put in such a position. My main priority here to save the lady, Miss Atikah. As for the rest I leave it to you, Sirs.”Hans bersuara because he is more concern with Tika’s safety.

“Yes, Mr Hans we understand your concern. We know what we are doing and we will put Miss Atikah safety a priority.” Janji pegawai polis tersebut. Hans mengangguk faham.

“Hans, biarlah polis di sini buat kerja mereka. Kita doa yang terbaik.” Kata En. Ahmad sambil menepuk bahu Hans.

“Alright, I am sorry if I sounded impatient just now.”jelas Hans lalu meminta maaf.

Selesai perjumpaan itu En. Ahmad menghantar Hans ke hotel. Dia mengingatkan Hans yang dia akan datang pada 7:15 malam ini untuk menjemput Hans menghadiri black tie dinner di rumah Duta Malaysia. DSP Sukri dan SP Ghani stayed back at the Police Palace to go through more details of their operation.

Sekembalinya Hans ke hotel, dia buntu dan asyik teringatkan Tika. Sambil berbaring di atas katil, Hans melayan lagu-lagu dari Sportify dan terbayang saat-saat bahagianya dan Tika. Percutian di Casabrina dan juga di Bali meninggalkan kenangan yang istimewa. "Tika you may not know but I am already in Budapest. I see that you are well taken care off by Ghazz and his men. Has he been taking care of you or hurting you? I missed you so much Tika. I just want to hold you one more time.....Soon Tika, soon we will see each other again."

Credit to ’*●❤♪♫❤♬✿═Gi═✿♬❤♫♪❤●*’ and You Tube

   

Nothing I must do

Nowhere I should be

No one in my life

To answer to but me

No more candlelight

No more purple skies

No one to be near

As my heart slowly dies

If I could hold you one more time

like in the days when you where mine

I'd look at you 'till I was blind

So you would stay

I'd say a prayer each time you'd smile

Cradle the moments like a child

I'd stop the world if only I

Could hold you one more time

(hmmmmmm)

I've memorized your face

I know your touch by heart

Still lost in your embrace

I'd dream of where you are

  

(hmmm)

If I could hold you one more time

Like in the days when you were mine

I'd look at you 'till I was blind

So you would stay

I'd say a prayer each time you'd smile

Cradle the moments like a child

I'd stop the world if only I

Could hold you one more time