Chapter 43 - Malaikat Juga Tahu

Part 1.

I was very tired from the cleaning up. There's still plenty more to do. While I rest in the lazy pit, I saw Hans came directly towards me. He sat down, lift my legs and placed them on his lap. He hold my foot with both hands, thumbs in the center of the bottom of the foot.  He started with small circles working the instep  with one thumb, then as that circle peaks, he start the circle with the other thumb, slowly moving towards the toes. He gently rubs his finger in between the toes. It was an erotic feeling. Finally, he pinched my heel between his thumb and base of his first finger, giving a good squeeze.  He did it on both legs.

“Wow….I rasa macam nak tertidur saja….but rasa lega sikit kaki I.”, I opened my eyes and smiled at him.

I smiled and said, "By the way, Iddin brought those gifts for us."

"That was nice of him....do you like it?", Hans responded.

"I haven't open it up. He said his wife picked it out for me. .............". I answered and smiled as I looked at the three boxes sitting on the sofa.

He looked at me and said,"You're tired. You have been working non-stop tonight. Pergi tidur. Don't worry about the mess. The guys and I will clean it up."

"Alright but let me say good night to our guest before I go upstairs." I replied. Hans helped me up and we walked outside. I said good night to the guys.

Iddin stood up and gave me a hug. I said,"So sorry I didn't get to talk to you tonight.".

"No worries. There'll be other times.", and he kissed my right cheek. "Take care, Atika." he said.

I walked over to Hans and kissed him good night. "I'll join you soon as we're done with the cleaning.", he said and squeeze my hands. I left the guys and walked straight upstairs to my bedroom. I changed into Hans t-shirt and landed in bed.

Sometime later, I suddenly woken to the sound of loud 'bang'. I think it came from downstairs. I turn to my left and Hans was not in bed yet. I looked at time and it was 3:30 a.m. I climbed out of the bed and slowly went downstairs. It was dark but the kitchen light was on. It was raining heavily outside perhaps the sound I heard could have come when lighting struck. I saw a shadow of a figure and I called out Hans name, "Hans is that you? What are you doing in the kitchen...Come to bed...", I said.

As I got closer I called out to Hans again. The figure turned and I almost fainted. It wasn't Hans......it was Ghazz!!! He laughed and laughed hard. I closed my ears and yelled at him, "Get out of here you son of a bitch. How dare to come here...!!!".

He came closer and closer. I ran out of the kitchen to get upstairs as fast as I could. Soon as I reached the top I accidentally slipped and fell. That moment Ghazz came and grabbed my legs.....

"Noooooooo.........................", I screamed out loud.

"Tika, Babe.....babe....shhhh....babe you're having a nightmare.....". It was Hans's voice. I immediately sat up on the bed. I was sweating, panting and gasping for air to breathe.

"Babe, mengucap babe, mengucap....", he came closer and comforted me. I'll get you some water. You wait here, alright...?"Hans said.

"No! No! Don't leave me alone....", and I pleaded him not to leave me.

Part 2.

I wasn't quite sure what time I fell a sleep but this morning I woke up feeling uncomfortable around my back and abdomen.

After my shower I got dressed and went straight to the kitchen and saw both Hans and Mama having breakfast.

"Hah....Tika you dah bangun pun. Come and sit down. Mama made nasi goreng ikan bilis, your favorite....", Mama scoop the rice onto my plate.

"Thanks Mama." I said.

"Hans told me you had a nightmare malam tadi....are you feeling better this morning?" Mama asked and looked at me. "What's wrong Atika, you look pale....demam ke?" Mama used the back of her palm to check my temperature on the forehead.

"I'm okay Mama....", I replied and took a spoon full of the fried rice. After 2 spoons I push the plate away. I just do not have the appetite to eat. "Mama thanks for cooking the fried rice Tika rasa tak berselera nak makan."

"Babe, tak baik macam ni. Your mom made this...", Hans cuba memujuk aku. I didn't say anything to Hans and I just looked at him. Hans wiped away the tears rolling on my cheeks. Aku terkejut dan berlalu dari meja makan. "Sayang, you wanna talk about what happen?" Hans asked.

I stood up and left the kitchen. I grabbed my car keys and went out of the house. I got into my car. I heard Hans calling out my name....I think.......but didn't look back and just drove off........

So many things playing in my mind.....the nightmare.....why Ghazz? Should I feel scared after all it was just a dream. Is he out free? He could be coming back to claim me from Hans....No! I won't let that happened. I despise you Ghazz!! "Leave me alone...!!" I scream in the car.

I drove around tanpa hala tujuan. I stopped at Starbucks but realized I didn't have my purse with me. I wanted to go to office and drown my sorrows there but my tag was in my handbag. I drove around and around Cyberjaya and the next thing I realized I was outside of Hans old apartment. I stopped and cried my hearts out. Glenn Fredly, you always have the right song for every moment.

Credit to Aquaruis Musikindo and You Tube

I closed my eyes and lean back. Listening to each and every word....can't control my tears....my heart bleeds.

Berbagi takdir kita selalu

Kecuali tiap kau jatuh hati.............

Kali ini hampir habis dayaku

Membuktikan padamu ada cinta yang nyata

Setia hadir setiap hari..................

Karena kau tak lihat terkadang malaikat

Tak bersayap, tak cemerlang, tak rupawan..............

Hampamu takkan hilang semalam oleh pacar impian

Tetapi kesempatan untukku yang mungkin tak sempurna

Tapi siap untuk diuji

Ku percaya diri cintakulah yang sejati

I played the song again and again. The feeling of hurt and the tormented relationship I had with Ghazz really haunt me when I listen to this song. I love Ghazz with all my heart but he always belittled me, played with my feeling. Needed me when it is convenient for him....Hate you Ghazz!!

I lost count of how many times listening to the song over and over again. Then someone knocked on my window. I turned my head and I saw Iddin.....I stared at him and he had his palm on the window. I placed my palm against the window as though our palms met. When the song ended I heard Iddin's voice, "Atika, open up the door....or at least wind down the window."

I said "No! Leave me alone!", and shook my head. 

"You better open the door before I break this glass window.", Iddin raised his voice. I looked straight and holding tight to my steering wheel. I wanted to drive off but where can I go.......? I have Hans now. He has been nothing but nice to me....forget about Ghazz. He ruined my life and I have another chance here with Hans....I wind down the window a bit.......

"Atika, come on....unlock the door.....please let me in....", Iddin memujukku. 

"No, I can't. I have to go.....somewhere....", dalam sedu aku menjawab.

"Don't be silly Atika. Does Hans know you are here? Talk to me....", Iddin took out his mobile and I barely hear his conversation. His other hand was holding tight on top of the glass window.

Iddin used all of his force to squeeze his arms through the window to unlock the car. I tried as hard I could to push his arms out. He finally managed to get his whole arm in and grabbed my arm.

"Unlock the door, NOW!!", Iddin was furious by my stubbornness. 

I got scared and did as I was told. He quickly open the door and snapped at me, "What is the matter with you? Have you lost your mind?" He let go of my arm. "Move over to the other side." as he got into the car.

He looked at me. I was so embarrassed by my actions that I looked out my side of the window. Iddin switched off the music player and rubbed my shoulder. "Did Hans hurt you...?" he asked gently.

"No." I replied. I took some tissue paper from the dashboard and  started to wipe my tears and nose. "It has nothing to do with Hans."

"Okay....so we are making progress here. Then tell me....", Iddin asked nicely.

I started to cry again and told him,"I wanted to get coffee from Starbucks but I don't have any cash on me. I forgot my purse. Then I want to go to my office but my tag was in my handbag at home....".

Iddin laughed......"I'll buy you coffee but I can't allow you to drive. You don't have your driver's license with you....am I right?, and he straightened my messy hair. I nodded. " I always take......"

"Caramel Latte...., I know.", Iddin said.

He then switched on the car engine and reversed to the guard house and entered into the premise. He brought me to the basement and parked my car. He ask me to wait and got out of the car. I saw him talking to a security guard and a few seconds later the guard left on motorbike. Iddin came back and sat in the driver's side of the car. He locked the doors.

"I want my coffee...can we go now....why are we parked here? How do you have access to this place?", I asked so many questions.

"For a women who just had a hysteria a moment ago, cried because she forget to bring her purse and tag, you sure have plenty of questions to ask....", I can sense that Iddin was a bit irritated. "Or is there more that you haven't told me?".

We sat in the car silently as I refuse to asked or answer anymore  questions until I get my coffee. By now I have already stopped crying except sound came from my clogged nose. For fifteen minutes we sat there until the guard came knocking on my car window. "Your coffee Sir....". Hans thanked the guard and passed me, my coffee....

"Ah..ah..ah..you tell me what's going on. Then I'll give you your coffee.....", Iddin trying to negotiate.

"Alright. I will tell you everything but let me have my coffee please.......I promise." I pleaded with him. He relented and gave me my coffee.

I took several sips and switched on to Glen Fredly again. "No we keep it off...", Iddin said and switched off the music.

I saw Iddin staring at me in amazed....."Tak panas ke coffee tu?"

"Panas jugak", I replied. I took another sip. "Okay, as promise, please this is just between you and I. I haven't told anyone else, except you. I am doing this because I was force and threatened....."

"Over a coffee....ya ya ya I know. Stop beating round the bush....just tell me what's going on, Atika,". Now Iddin was becoming impatient.

"Okay....my my aren't we very impatient today.....", aku memerli Iddin. "Alright, pinky swear?", aku menghulurkan jari kelingking ke arah Iddin. Hendak tak hendak Iddin melayan kerenah aku.

"You ni dah besar macam ni pun buat perangai macam budak-budak....whenever are you gonna grow up? I tak faham apa yang Hans see in you.....I pity him sebab isteri dia berkelakuan macam ini...", he speak up out right.

I just looked down and accept defeat. Yes, I was wrong and my action was plain childish. I sat there quietly.

"We can stay all night kalau you nak. I tak kisah because I live here now....I boleh naik condo di atas, mandi and perhaps tidur because you and your car tak boleh keluar dari sini without the security tag....", Iddin said.

Aku masih membatu. Degil. Yes, Hans said that once to me when we were in Budapest.

"Or, we can sit in here, die together inhaling toxic carbon monoxide gas....Your pick.", again Iddin cuba menakutkan aku.

"Ok. I cerita sekarang............., sometime past midnight I woke up. I thought it was Hans in the kitchen instead it was Ghazz who chased me up the stairs and I fell. He grabbed my legs and that's when I woke up screaming. It felt real since I woke up feeling sore on my back and tummy as though I actually fall just like in my dreams.", air mata aku mula mengalir.

"Who is Ghazz?", Iddin asked and used his pinky finger to wipe off my tears.

"Ghazz.....was my fiance. Ex-fiance. He left me. Then Hans and I rekindle our relationship. Then Ghazz wants me back. Pasal harta. Kalau dia tak kahwin dengan I, family dia will disowned him and he stand to lose millions." I sipped my coffee slowly.

" Kahwin paksa?", Iddin seems interested to know more. His eyes never left my face. He scan every inch of my nose, my eyes movement, and lips.......

"Panjang cerita Iddin but it involved family business venture. Of course I tak mahu terima dia. He kidnapped me and took me to Budapest. He said if he can't have me then no one else can have me. He used me, he raped me over and over again, he locked me in a cold apartment, come to a point I gave in to his needs. I'll stop here, okay. I don't think I can go on.....". Aku rasa mukaku merah menyala. Malu sejarah hitam ku kongsikan bersama Iddin. Aku memekup muka lalu tunduk.

Iddin grabbed my arms. "You're joking right? Macam drama Korea saja? You are just making up the story?" and he laughed.

I was furious. I let go of my arms and slapped him hard on his mouth. Then I saw his lips bled. "I am sorry Iddin. I didn't mean too to do that to you....". The next thing I got out of the car and started walking, then faster and now I'm running.

"Atika!! Stop! I am not mad at you. It's not my blood.....", Iddin menjerit. He stood in front of me, "Just relax okay, everything is going to be alright. Listen to me. You are bleeding.....". Aku melihat tanganku....darah....lantas memandang bawah.......rasa keliling ku gelap and the moment aku pejam mata terasa longlai badanku.

Chapter 42 - Untitled

Part 1.

A week past by...

I started working again and there were so many things to catch up with especially on new and revised employment policies. Updating myself with the latest gossips and out lunch with close mates. Missed my friends so much like Kat, Chander, Mustapha, Maya, Zaleha, Sureen, Tah just to name a few. I have been away from work for almost six month. Hans wanted me to permanently leave my job and work with him. He said, "Then I know that you are always safe with me all the time.". But I don't fancy that idea. Sometimes I want my own space rather than having Hans popping regularly to check up on me.

Well, I haven't heard or seen Iddin after we got back from The Kabin. I heard he took leave to return to Perth. Perhaps making arrangements to bring his family to Malaysia? I don't know, just guessing.....

Went for my doctor's appointment with Hans at Pantai Hospital in Bangsar. Doctor Idris said Alhamdulillah everything is looking fine and the baby is developing normal at 14 weeks. Expected due date June next year. I have to keep on taking my Vit. C and Folic Acid. I asked Hans not to smoke whenever he's around me. He nodded.

The contractors completed the cabinet and shelving works for most of the rooms upstairs. Yes, I finally got my island  in the dressing room to store my perfumes and accessories.

We left the baby room empty for now. Hans gave me the freedom to decorate whenever I feel the time is right.

And our new house is in its final stages of completion. I love my new bedroom. Simple and not too crowded. Like so much Hans idea. I am happy that my ideas also taken into consideration. Hans especially like what I called the ' lazy pit'. I added bright and strong colors to give contrast to the white color of the sofa and marble flooring. I want a touch of Morrocan style and not to run away too much from Hans theme.

Credit to Architecture and Design and Google Image

Hans was more of a black and white minimalist when it comes to his designed but I managed to convince him that this is not a bachelor's pad. Ours was a family home and we need colors. So that was it and he had to agree.

When it comes to kitchen I had to leave it to Hans. He cooks a lot and it is fair to have him design to fit his taste. He built white wooden cabinet with marble top and I added a touch of country style corner banquette table. I told Hans that the kids can hangout here, play games, eat their meals or do their homework in the corner.

The dining room was a difficult decision to make. Questions like how big of a table do we need? Contemporary or classic style? I suggested an oblong table for eight would be enough. "It is not like we entertain friends on weekly basis." I said. But Hans insist of having table for ten. So I gave up and went along with his plans. And of course the black and white theme. I added beige color to the curtains. I had to admit the set fits perfectly well in the dining area.

Even though there are still so much work to do on the interior, this week Hans already planned for a small kenduri doa selamat. We are expecting around fifty to seventy guess. Mom helped out with the caterer while Hans excited nak show off his BBQ skills. Mom was always angry with Hans because I do lots of work around the house.

She would always said, "Hans carilah maid....".

"Tika yang tak mahu. Talk to her Mom.", Hans would reply. And the conversation stopped there.

I don't do much to be frank.....we had Hans regular cleaner who comes to the house during the weekends. Mrs Kumar has been Hans helper eversince Hans moved to Cyberjaya. In the weekends she helped me with the vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, and laundry. I'm always happy to have her around the house. This weekend I request that she help me with the BBQ. We need to marinate the steaks, lambs cutlets, chicken and varieties of fresh seafood.  Plenty of food to go around tonight. So who said I do lots of work around the house?

About 5  p.m. the caterer arrived and they started to arrange the food inside the house. Mom arrived fifteen minutes later and Mama arrived at 6 p.m. Soon after guest started to arrive; they mingled among themselves and looked around our new house. Hans took the role as our tour guide.

As soon as dah selesai azan Maghrib, my uncle Yunus (from my mother's side of the family) call upon everyone to perform solat Maghrib, followed by reciting surah Yassin and doa selamat. Finally we finished off with Isya' prayers before dinner.

By 10 p.m. most guest have left the house and I was surprise to see that Iddin didn't come. Maybe he was still in Perth. Only a few close family members and friends stayed on to lepak and enjoy the BBQ. Hans and Dad was busy flipping the steaks and entertaining guests at the same time. I let Mrs Kumar go off at 11 p.m. after she prepared the guest room for Mama who decided she wants to put up a few nights at my house. I was so happy.....

I was working in the kitchen when I heard someone walked in. I said, "Mama, if you are tired, you can rest in the guest room....". I turned and smiled but instead it was Iddin smiling right back at me. He was standing behind the kitchen island.

"Surprised?", he asked. "Your smile really cheer me up. Hilang penat I travel from Perth to Cyberjaya.....sampai sini you terus sambut I with that smile.....thank you..." he said and came over to kiss me on both cheeks. He stood back.

"Hey there stranger....Did you just arrived from the airport? Seriously, you just got back from Australia?", I asked him and actually surprised by his presence tonight.

"Hmmm, tak ada apa khabar or how are you? I missed you ke?", and he laughed. "Soon as I arrived at the airport I drove straight here. Sorry couldn't be here earlier.", Iddin replied.

"Ah!...ada-ada je you ni. You are such a clown......dah makan? Hans is outside flipping steaks. Pergilah and join dia orang. There are still plenty of food going around", I suggested but deep down I didn't want him to leave me alone in the kitchen. His compliments earlier had me there for a moment.

He came closer to me. "Here, I got you a house warming gift all the way from Perth. My wife picked it out for you. I hope you'll like it. It's from DEIA." Iddin handed me 3 brown boxes tied with ribbons. Aku menyambut pemberian Iddin. "Thanks, you don't have to get me anything you know...." I replied.

Credit to DEIA Living and Google Image.

"No no no no....., I want too...........", he smiled as he lean against the kitchen counter. We stood there in silence for a minute. He was staring at me when I lift my face up and our eyes locked for a few seconds. "Errr......well, can't have my guest standing in the kitchen kan.....I have to finish up with the cleaning here.....I'll meet you outside in a bit?" tiba-tiba aku buat-buat seperti aku busy menggelap meja and Iddin pun seperti tersipu-sipu seolah dia hendak minta diri keluar ........"Yeah, yeah...sure. I'll talk to you later....", and he left the kitchen.

Later I sat with Mama and talked about the food and baby when suddenly Mama asked me about the guy who was sitting next to Hans.

"Who's the guy sitting next to Hans?", Mama was curious.

"Oh, that's Fazidin. He's works with Hans. Why the sudden interest?" I was also curious why Mama wants to know.

"I don't mean to pry but I heard the conversation you and that guy had in the kitchen...........", Mama started off with an inquiry. So I jumped in, "Ye ke....hmmm I kenal dia masa I tinggal dengan nenek di Klang. Remember the deal was for me to stay with nenek when I joined Sunway College? We had a brief relationship sebelum I pergi US dulu. Dia pun tinggal dekat dengan Palm Groove. Happened that we took the same bus and that's how our relationship developed. I was surprise when Hans wanted to hire him. I didn't know then but Hans flew Fazidin to Italy for what he called "a casual interview" during our honeymoon. Can you belief that....I was shock to see it was him. And that was it....", I told mama the whole story.

"Married?", Mama asked.

"Yes....he is. His wife and two children are staying in Perth.", I replied. I am feeling rather awkward having conversation about my ex with my mother.

"Does Hans knows about you and him?", Mama popped another question.

"Yes he does Mama from A to Z. I have got nothing to hide from Hans. He's cool about it", I replied and I belief it was the whole truth.......

There were huge laughter coming from outside and I stood up and saw a few guests trying to persuade Iddin to sing. They know him from the annual dinner last week. Another guy brought a guitar. After getting the right guitar cord, guest was already anxious waiting for Iddin to entertain them with a song....and he obliged.

Credit to MusicEverywhereNet and You Tube

The full song ended at 3:57.

I stood and leaned against the door throughout the song. I folded my arms and smiled at Iddin when he started to sing. Once in a while I saw him catch a glimpse at me. Oh my God....it was a good rendition of a song from Maliq & The Essentials. He sure has a beautiful voice.

" He sure can sing. Atika, Mama belum nyanyuk lagi ya. When I listen to the song I can feel he still has feelings for you....", Mama suddenly spoke to me from behind. Aku diam and did not want to argue with her. I just want to listen to him singing.

"Just be careful Atika, you are married. And so is he...", Mama continued.

"Mama, there is nothing going on between us, He's just being him. Flirting and usik-usik Tika when we meet. I am sure the song has nothing to do with me....It's just a song, Mama...", I tried to reassure Mama.

"Well, I'm going to bed. Good night sayang...", and Mama gave me a kiss on the cheek. I still stood by the door exchanging glances between Hans and then Iddin.

Was Mama right?




Note:Credit pictures to Architectural Digest, Architect Art Designs and Google Image

Chapter 41 - Simplemente (Simply.....)

Part 1.

Handing him a tube of scrub, he reached and sat at the edge of the tub. He squeezed a generous amount of the Body Shop scrub paste and placed it in his palm. Rubbing the scrub between his palms, he gently does circular strokes to massage it onto my skin. When you're in the tub with someone, you let down all of your defenses, so each touch becomes all the more intimate. Hans took off his robe and climbed into the tub. He continues to massage my shoulders and making his way down on my back.

"Hans....., mmm...., that's it, you just hit the spot. Ohhhh.....you're so good at massaging...." I was enjoying it so much that I lost count of all the Oohhhs and Aahhs.

We had small conversation of who we are as a couple. We share things we have in common, our differences, and our hopes for our future as a parent soon to be, and etc. 

I have never open up so much to Hans because these are all sometimes uncomfortable conversations that might make me feel shy or embarrassed but I think there’s a good reason to talk about things out in the open. Not only will you have a better picture of what you can expect from your partner, but you’ll also feel closer to them because of that added feeling of security.

“How's that? You're enjoying it?”, as he pull me closer to his lean abs. His hands caressing my neck and he laid a soft kissed behind my ears.

"Hmmm....it's pure delight." I replied softly. With his both hands he lift my hands and placed it behind his neck. Then he starts to trickle his fingers along my arms. It gave me the goose bumps. Finally he laid his hands on my baby bump and he kissed my head a few times. I turn my head to my right side and lift my hands and joined his. We sat still and enjoyed the silence for a few seconds.

"Babe, I have never been so happy in my life until I met you." Hans said and took a deep breathe. I squeezed his hands in  response to his statement.

Later, I slowly stood up and turn to him, "Come....".

By now we are under the shower. The shower sensor picked up our presence and down came the water cascading our body. I faced Hans and my lips parted as I inhaled deeply, the site was a turn on for Hans. The water dripped down his hair softly. And the drops slowly made their way to his body and the perfect abs he had. The water defined his well, organized and obviously worked out body.

We rubbed each other gently to wash all the grains away. The back ground music of Bebel Gilberto really compliment our intimate moment. It felt like time stopped and stood still. I crack an eyelid and raise a brow at the same time, watching him. I watch him as the water runs over my skin like a caress, how had I fallen in love with this man? His eyes flash down my body before flashing back to my face.

Credit to Biscoito Fino and You Tube

Slowly, I raise a hand and cup his cheek, leaning close to kiss him gently. Feeling his hands glide over my water slick body, pulling me close to him and drown deeper into the kiss. He hold my head and kissed me passionately; I felt like I was floating. 

A few minutes have passed and Hans said, " Let me dry you....", Hans said as he grabbed two towels on the shelf. He wrapped me in one and the other over his mid rift. Then he lift me up in his arms and we walked out of the bathroom. 

He let me down and said,"Wait here...". I nodded. A few second later he came out in his boxer's and came closer to me. He took the towel off and slip me in his t-shirt. He still hasn't finished with his foreplay I should say. Hans is very patient when he wants to make love to me. And I certainly didn't mind how he displays his affection towards me. 

He dried my hair with my back facing him. "Leave it that way. I love those curls on your hair.", and we crawled on the sofa turn into bed.

Part 2.

Needless to say when the fore play was stimulating, the love make was erotically satisfying. It felt so right so natural. His smell, his taste, our kissing, his lips. Everything! It was intense. There were moments he left me a quivering mess for minutes afterwards. Nothing felt forced or rehearsed. Anything that happened in the moment was part of the moment. He was never awkward, never nervous, never unsure. He was just there. With me. For as long as we saw fit.

My first orgasm would come in a slow vibrating wave. Starting at my ankles, arching into my back and flowing out of the top of my head. It feels like the best drugs I’ve ever taken. And he’s not even inside me yet. He lead me where he wanted to go. There’s an art to being able to lead and allowing me to follow. Sometimes there is a push and pull in energies.

"You're alright?" he asked as he stroke the sweat off my forehead.

"Yes....." I replied whimpering. "Don't stop please......"

He gave me cervical orgasms every time. This isn’t your normal orgasm. He made it safe enough for me to be my truest sexual form and from that would come the flood of euphoria and ecstasy. This one doesn’t peak but lasts for a long time, sometimes up to 20 minutes.  And at this point, we would be making eye contact and I knew we were in the same place at the same time feeling the same thing......he felt full inside of me.

There was just something about his energy that allowed me to open up so unconditionally. There’s something about a man with the ability to lead you anywhere that creates electric, mind-blowing sex. I will never trade this feeling I have with Hans. Never..

As we lay side by side , breathing heavily, we were grinning like idiots and I gave Hans a high five. We broke into laughter. I stayed in his arm until we fell a sleep.

Chapter 40 - Dancing On My Own

Part 1.

> 👊 <

👻IDDIN
> 😈 <

Buat aku gila je ketawa seorang macam ni. I switched off my cellphone and went to bed.

The next morning after solat subuh, I woke Hans tapi liatnya dia nak bangun.

"Hans, I pergi beach and do yoga.....", aku mencuit-cuit hidung mancungnya.

"Hmmm....tak payah pergilah....rest saja. Stay in bed with me....", he said and pull back the covers over his head.

So I decided to go by myself. I brought along my Iphone and yoga mat. The walk to the beach took me only five minutes. Cantik betul suasana pagi ni.

The ocean is my favorite place for sunrise because the sun casts a pyramid of light from one tiny beam across the water just before it rises to show the arc of the ball of fire. Then, the whole sky becomes that dawn color, blues and oranges and yellows and reds all blending into one warm glow. 

Good Day Sunshine! Good Day Sunshine!! 

As the bright orange ball rises, I fight to block the blinding light but so wanting to keep the color of that morning for as long as possible. Everything is a more brilliant color now. I think of all those who bring me joy and those who have left this life but somehow MUST be involved in bringing this glory to me every morning.

I found a good spot and started with a few stretches and breathing exercise. I switched on to Spotify and searched for Calum Scott singing to Robyn's Dancing on my Own. Yeah, I'm on my own so....why not. It is a beautiful song on this breathtaking morning.

Credit You Tube and CalumScottVEVO

Somebody said you got a new friend

Does she love you better than I can?

There's a big black sky over my town

I know where you're at, I bet she's around

Yeah, I know it's stupid

I just gotta see it for myself

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh

I'm right over here, why can't you see me, ohh

I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooo

I keep dancing on my own

I'm just gonna dance all night

I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line

Stilettos and broken bottles

I'm spinning around in circles

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh

I'm right over here, why can't you see me, ohh

I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooo

I keep dancing on my own

So far away but still so near

The lights come on, the music dies

But you don't see me standing here

I just came to say goodbye

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh

I'm giving it my all, I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooo

I keep dancing on my own

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, oh no

I'm right over here, why can't you see me, oh no

I'm giving it my all, I'm not the guy you're taking home, ooo

I keep dancing on my own

So far away but still so near

The lights come on, the music dies

But you don't see me standing here

When I returned, most of the Hans staff were checking out of The Kabin. I saw Hans, Mom and Dad having breakfast by the pool. I walked over and joined them.

“Mana you pergi pagi-pagi ni, Atikah?”, Mom asked and all eyes were on me.

“Tak de mana, just walked to the beach. Enjoy the sunrise and do a bit of yoga.”, I replied and sipped mineral water from my bottle.

“Alone?”, again mom asked.

“Aha…..”, I replied.

Mom looked at Hans and slapped his arms, "Kenapa you biar Atika pergi alone? Hans, you should take care of Atika....", Mom scolded Hans.


"I know I should have but it was way too early. I did ask her not to go.", Hans tried to explain.

"Hish, macam ni ke jadi suami orang? Buat malu saja...", and Mom is getting more upset.

Aku yang memerhatikan perbualan anak beranak di depan aku, menyampuk, "Mom, it's okay. Hans was tired so I went on my own....".

Hans got up and came over behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me on my right cheek. "I'm sorry babe. I should have accompanied you.", and he kissed me again on my right cheek.

Part 2.

That whole afternoon it rained. Hans and I stayed indoors watching movies on You Tube. He made me tea and we ate junk food which he bought from The Kabin Cafe. We cuddled in bed and later fell a sleep. I was so happy to be in Hans arms and I couldn't be bothered with the outside world. 

When we were in bed we don’t just hold hands. Hans would trail his fingers along mine and spell out ‘ love’ on my palms, then he kissed the tips of each of my fingers as they’re interlaced with his. This is sexy without the sex and a great intimate activity. At times I nibbled his ear and kissed his neck, in between kissing sessions. Then he would lick a line down my neck and blow on it softly. The cool sensation blew me out of my mind.

I was told Mom and Dad left The Kabin sometime at noon that day. Late in the afternoon we went to the pool. The weather was much better and we had so much fun. We challenged each other to see who can swim the fastest from one side of the pool to the other. I had a terrific time and love the attention Hans gave me.

We checked out that night even though we have paid for the night stay. Hans wants to take me for furniture hunting tomorrow. I had no problem agreeing with his plan. Hans never let go of my hands all the way drive home to Cyberjaya. We stopped for dinner at Aroii Thai and after we arrived safely to our new home in Setia Ecoglades.

Part 3.

Hans and I sat at the kitchen island and discussed what to purchase tomorrow.

" So what do you think?" he showed me a few sketches which he drew on the spot. " We'll have all bedroom cabinets and shelving custom made." he added.

"Looks awesome. I like it but I would love if you could add a lounge chair and an island accessories high table in the middle of our dressing room." I said and looked at him.

Perbincangan berlarutan hingga tengah malam. I was quite tired and asked Hans, "Where are we going to sleep...... We don't even have a bed."

"Jom, kita naik atas....", and he held out his hand. I took hold of his hand and followed him upstairs. We walked straight into our bedroom and there laid alone a sofa bed right in the middle. The room was lighted with a table lamp places on the marble floor.

I smiled and walked closer next to Hans. "Creative.", I said and giggled. "So now, if you don't mind I want to take a hot bath then straight to bed....". I hugged him and in returned he kissed me lightly on my lips. "Teaser.....", I said to him. He smiled and let go of me.

I took off my clothes and start to build up water in the tub. A cap full of jasmine oil......again the temperature must be just right. I let my hair down and looked at the mirror. My baby bump has grown and that reminded me I have a doctor's appointment with Doctor Idris in a week's time. I think I must be reaching my third month of pregnancy. I rubbed the bump and thinking what will be the sex of my baby. If it were a girl I will definitely have a circus buying her pretty clothes. And if it is a boy, I will spoil him with blocks of Lego so he can become an architect just like his father.

I switched on to Spotify searching for Bebel Gilberto and increased the volume. I sunk into the tub. Closing my eyes to the water as the heat soaks into my skin, "Hmmm...oh yeah.....feels so good...." I said softly as I lean the back of the tub. A moment of relaxation.

I reached a tube of scrub and putting a small amount of paste on my palms, I started to scrub my arms. "Do you need help with that...?". I looked up and saw Hans was leaning against the doorway in his robe.

Chapter 39 - All Night

Part 1.

I stood there for a few seconds…..felt kind of odd for a moment and I don’t know why? What just hit me?  The song? The lyrics? Is it purposely directed to me? Atau aku saja yang perasan lebih?

I snapped out after some one bumped into my shoulder and walked over to the buffet table to get something to eat. I caught a glimpse of Iddin surrounded by female employees. They were all over him. I smiled and have a funny feeling that I could be jealous of his new found fame. I took my food and sat back at the table.

“Did you see the new architect? He surely can sing.”, Mom said.

“Yes mom, I did and he’s over at the buffet table surrounded by female employees…”, aku menjawab selamba.

“Tika knows him way back in her collage years. They dated for a while…”, Hans menyampuk.

“Hans…!", I was not happy by Hans response.

“Oh really? Did you know he could sing that well?”, Mom asked innocently.

“Nope, didn't know he could sing. Anyway it was a brief relationship.....”, I replied. Thanks a lot Hans!

Dad came over and asked Mom to dance with him. “Well guys, my knight and shinning amour is here…..we're going to boogie all night......by the way,...don't wait up for us....”, she gave a wink and stepped on to the dance floor.

Then I turned to look at Hans, “Thanks Hans for sharing my ancient love life with Mom.”

“I am sorry if I offended you but I didn’t think you would mind. After all it was in the past right?”.  Hans sounded apologetic. But I don’t feel comfortable with his response.

Hans stood up and said,“I hate to leave you alone here but I am just going to mingle around for a bit and if you are tired just relax here or you can rest in the cabin, okay?”.

So I sat there.....I smiled when being greeted. I saw Hans so engulfed in a conversation with two elderly gentleman. Mom and Dad swing on the dance floor. Iddin? Where's Iddin?"

Yup, I looked like an idiot sitting alone and munching on the carrot cake when suddenly, “Hi, seorang saja ke, mana buah hati you......can I join you?”, I looked up and it was Iddin. Speak of the devil....I just shrugged my shoulders.

Iddin sat next to me and he nudged my elbow. “So what did I do now? You're mad at me.”, Iddin asked.

"Well maybe you can enlightened me a bit here.........", I said.

"About what? If I knew what I did.......", Iddin answered.

I turned to my right side and now facing him directly. "I don't quiet understand why you brush me off earlier this evening when I asked where's your wife. You were rude and walked off....". I demanded an explanation and turn to my dessert on the table and took another spoon full of the carrot cake.

He sat there quietly and I can sense that he was staring at me. Then he said, "I like it when you're mad. That voice makes my heart beat faster. "

"Shut up Iddin. I thought we decided that no more of this flirting. Ever since you came back into my life, kucar kacir hidup I. Please, I just want to move on. Can we be best of friends and put aside this revenge thing you have against me." aku jelaskan pada Iddin.

Iddin kept quiet again. That should shut him up.

"My,...my,.....at that rate you're eating now, cepat la naik berat badan you....", and he opened up his mouth again.

"I am eating for two now....sibuk!", I replied and took another spoon full.

"There's no such thing as eating for two person.....itu cakap orang dulu-dulu, tak boleh apply in modern days" he explained and looked around him. Mana buah hati you?"

"Whatever.......and you tak answer my question.", I replied sarcastically.

Suddenly Iddin pulled my hand, “You akan tahu jawapannya nanti.....…..come follow me….don’t ask more”, he said.

Part 2.

Next thing I knew, Iddin guided me across the dance floor. He kept his eyes on me, yet still, he knew exactly where to take me. Every moment, every angle seemed to be planned in advanced. Nothing felt forced; I literally thought I was floating.

Then he put his right hand on my left hip side, and his left hand gently grasp my right hand and hold it up at about shoulder-level. The music began to play. It was a romantic song from Keith Washington. 

Credit to neofunkyman1 and You Tube

With that, I knew. He need not say more. We turned, dipped within the beats, we moved with every muscle of our bodies. My heart, my whole being was now his and his alone on the dance floor. He allowed me to lead to feel exactly where he is and what he is doing. I adapt quickly to changes in direction, allowing his lead to take command, and trusting him explicitly with my safety and well-being on the dance floor. I savor the movements, taking the time to complete each one before moving on to the next.

“Iddin,” I whispered, “everyone is looking at us.”

He squeezed my hand slightly and smiled. “Really,” he chuckled softly, “I haven’t notice. And if I haven't told you earlier, you look cute tonight and very much reminded me of...... Cheryl Cole…..”.

I smiled and feel embarrassed at the same time by his compliments. “You look not so bad either….”, I said.

"By the way I didn't know you could sing very well...and I must say it was a very interesting choice of song", I asked.

He laughed and replied, "Bakat terpendamlah katakan..........Hmmm interesting choice ya....? Tak da lah. Kenapa? You terasa ke?".

"Should I?", I asked. Iddin just shrugged his shoulders but his smile sends a different message.

We laughed and spin and the feeling was just like what we experienced at Music on the Rocks.There's chemistry.

When the song ended the audiences’ applause filled our ears. I couldn’t help but smile at him. In that very hour I wondered why I didn’t see it before. In my eyes, and because of that dance, I can see how perfect he truly is.

We went back to the main table to catch our breath before a flock of female staff came strolling towards us, well towards Iddin to be specific...

"Iddin, your fans are here and they want your autograph...", I smiled and giggled. Iddin looked behind and fair enough two of them were pushing one another to go forward.

"Iddin I pergi dulu la ya.....orang mengandung ni cepat penat....and thank you for the dance. I enjoyed it very much. I think when it comes to dancing, we have a good coloration and rhythm. I like dancing with you. Well, good-nite and don't the bed bugs bite you. ", I laughed and left him there.

I walked back to the cabin.

Part 3.

I was surprised to see Hans sitting on the balcony. "Hi Babe......tired? You still got the grooves tonight?"

I kissed Hans on his cheek. "When did I ever lose it? A little tired but I am fine. Eh, you perli I ke?" I sat next to him. "And why are you sitting here all alone? You should be out there entertaining your employees and guests."

"You and Fazidin.....all okay?" and of course I was expecting that from Hans sooner or later.......

I cupped my palms on his face and turn to face me, "Semua okay dah. There are times he still tries to intimidate me but nothing I can't handled. But when we dance we have chemistry.", sambil menjelirkan lidah. I let go of his face.

"Ye la tu...jangan lebih-lebih sudah. (he pointed two fingers to his eyes and then to my eyes a few times as though he was saying, I'm watching you...) Jangan sampai I patahkan kaki diaaaaa..... And another thing, you tu pregnant. Be careful sikit." Hans explained and that showed how much he care for my well being.

"I know and thank you for the reminder. Tak payah patahkan kaki anak orang, I sendiri pun boleh buat kalau I nak. I ada black belt.", I replied.

"Alright (he pinched my nose).....I've said what I wanted to say, let's go back to the party. Are you up to it?"Hans asked.

I took his arm, "Yeah, I like to see Dayang Nurfaizah in person....". We stood up and hugged tightly. And hand in hand we walked back to the party.

The party went on until midnight and later a few of them resume to the karaoke room. I told Hans that I would like to go back to the cabin. He wanted to walk me back but I told him, "I just wanna walk by myself."

I reached the cabin and my cellphone beeped.....it was a whatsapp message.....

👻IDDIN
.>You think I could dance like I did with you tonight if my wife were here with me?<

Need I say more?

Chapter 38 - Ekspektasi

Part 1.

The next morning, we met Iddin at D’Tas for breakfast. Hans updated Iddin about company matters and this weekend’s annual dinner at The Kabin. This year’s  theme will be ‘Hawaian Night’.  Iddin informed that he will be going to Klang to visit his parents this morning and drive to The Kabin himself tonight.

“All right drive carefully. By the way keep your calendar free next Saturday night.  I haven’t discussed yet with Tika but I’m planning to do a kenduri doa selamat at my new house and followed by a barbeque buffet. Mostly, relatives and a few close acquaintances. Can we have a kenduri, babe?” Hans bertanya pada aku. Aku menganggukkan kepala ku saja.

Iddin memerhati aku seperti dia tahu ada yang tak kena. Aku hanya banyak berdiam diri and try not to interrupt their conversation.

Hans stood up and walked to the counter to pay for breakfast. Iddin looked at me and smiled, “You okay ke? Macam ada yang tak kena saja?”.

“Hmmm…no everything is okay. That's Hans…..suka buat surprise. From the first time I met him until today, he has his way of dropping bomb on me….one after the other. I guess I have to get used to it.” Aku mencurahkan my emotions to Iddin.

“He’s a great guy, Atikah. I’m sure he means well…..you’re so lucky….Truthfully, kadang-kadang bila I tengok you dengan Hans,...I pulak rasa jealous. Jealous dengan kebahagian you.”, Iddin tried to comfort me. His eyes never left my face.

“I know but at least discuss la dulu dengan I. Tak de la I terkejut …..tiba-tiba annual dinner, tiba-tiba pindah rumah baru, tiba-tiba nak buat kenduri….ni belum lagi wedding reception”, I explained.

“Well, kalau dia beritahu you then you tak surprise la kan….”, Iddin laughed.

“What kind of answer is that….you tak akan faham punya…..”, aku naik benggang. Iddin smiled and shook his head.

“Babe, you’re  ready?”, Hans came back to our table.

“Yes, so I’ll see you later tonight?”, as I shook Iddin’s hand. I was actually looking forward seeing him tonight. Apart from Hans, Mom and Dad, I barely know anyone else at the event tonight.

“Yes, Looking forward to it…”, and he let go of his hand. “Bro, I pun make a move,….nak surprise kan my parents…..”, he laughed and looked at me. Saja la tu nak kena kan aku….

When we arrived at our apartment and Hans asked, “How about going to my parents’ house for lunch today?”

“Hmmm….okay, I like that….I pun ada a few gifts nak bagi your mom and dad. Hana ada sana ke? What about your children? Will they join us for lunch juga?” I replied with lots of questions.

“Wowww….banyaknya soalan you…let me see….yes,…yes,…and yes……the answer to your questions.” Hans replied. “Come here you……”.

I walked over to him and sat on his lap. Both my arms are already around his neck. He gently clutched my waist and took a deep breath a few seconds and exhale. My cheek brush up against his face. He gently rubbed my back a few times as I stroke his hair. As I pull away, I kept my hands on him. We looked into each other’s eyes, smile, and I speak from the heart. “I love being in your arms, Hans. I really do….”. And we hugged again.

“I love you so much babe….I am sorry I didn’t discussed about the kenduri with you earlier but the idea just popped out of my mind.” Hans confessed. He laid a kiss on my forehead.

“Hmmm….it was indeed a surprised after what we discussed yesterday. I was a little bit upset but I’m okay now. Kalau baik buat you, baik jugalah buat I….”, and I just place my head on his chest and closed my eyes. Acoustic Alchemy was playing in the back  ground. We sat there silently in each other’s arms.

That afternoon we headed to Hans’s parents’ house for lunch. Each and every one was so welcoming. I was a very nervous about their reaction towards me with being kidnapped, abused, rape and miscarriage but I was wrong. They accepted and welcome me with open arms. They were glad that I have recovered from the incident and happy when we shared the news about my pregnancy. Mom and Dad was obviously happy with new addition to the family.

We distributed gifts to all even Makcik Esah the housekeeper also received a designer’s purse. It was very thoughtful of Hans and they were happy with their gifts.

I was finally introduced to Hans children from his previous marriage. Andrian and Andry are 15 and 13 and greeted me with salams and hugs. I was so touched.

"Hello, I'm Atikah. It's really nice to meet you guys finally. I have been looking forward to meet you both in a looonng time." I greeted and smile nervously.

"Is it true that you are married to my Dad?", asked Andry, the younger sibling as he held my hand. "What should I call you?"

"Well Andry, I haven't the slightest idea....what do you like to call me?", I asked him back.

Hans who was standing closed suggested, "Well there's mama, or Umi or Ibu...or emak, mummy...."

Andrian who has been very quiet spoke out, "I already have a mummy......".

"Andrian, that's not very......" Hans tried to reason with his son. I sat on the sofa, held his arm to stop him from speaking further and said, "Yes, you have a mommy. I am not trying to replace your mommy. I am sure she wonderful. She will always be your mother."

Andry tugged my hand and looked at his brother who has been on a defensive mode, "Abang, ini Ibu kita la. Now we have two moms. Can I call you Ibu?", he looked at me.

I smiled, "Sure, you call me Ibu. I love that very much." Wow, that was stressing......but it went well than expected but I can see Andian has a slight resentment towards me a bit. It will take sometime to gain his confidence to accept me in his life. Hans looked relief as he winked at me.

I walked over to Dad and pulled him a side. Andry was still clutching my hand. “Dad, I wanna return the credit card. Thank you very much. I purchased 3 items while I was in Rome with this card.”, aku menghulurkan kad kredit kepada bapa mertuaku.

Dad was surprised and he replied, “No you keep it, it’s yours. Just don’t spend all at one place….”, he smiled and tapped my shoulder a few times.

“But dad, I don’t feel comfortable, nanti apa pulak kata Hans……”, I replied. Then he came closer to my ears and whispered, “Don’t worry hang on to it, in case of emergency. Kalau Hans has problem with it, let me deal with him. Who knows nanti you tiba-tiba nak beli Chanel handbag ke, you can use the card…….you keep it. Ikhlas from me…”, and he laughed out loud. So I put back the card in my pocket.

Makcik Esah prepared a huge banquet from rendang daging, sambal sotong, ikan kerapu masak tiga rasa, gado-gado,….benar-benar menyambut kepulangan kami yang lama kepingin masakan melayu.

Selesai makan tengahari, Mom and me berbincang tentang our wedding reception while Dad and Hans was discussing business and about the new architect they hired, Fazidin. Macam-macam plan ibu Hans dan aku hanya menurut because I still remember Hans told me it’s a must to announce our wedding to our relatives, friends and business acquaintances. Ballroom have been booked, catering confirmed, guest list almost complete, cuma menunggu my list saja. I was given 200 seats for my guest. I told Mom that I will e-mail her my guest list first thing Monday morning. Wedding dress needs to be fitted for the reception. “I leave it all to you Mom. What’s best for you, I’m sure it’s best for me. Tika ikut saja.” I told Mom.

“Hah…senang kerja Mom. “ she said and  hugged me.

“Mom thanks for lunch. We should be heading to The Kabin to check out the preparation of tonight’s event.” Hans said and bent to kiss his Mom.

“Take care you both. We’ll see you tonight. Ni, Hana baru call and she sends her  regards. Dia tak dapat datang this afternoon sebab dia balik Kuching. Hans, you take care of Tika tu, dia meengandung, don't forget that ya....” Mom replied back.

We said our good byes . I kissed Andry. He hugged me hard. "Ibu, next week Ibu datang dengan Daddy ambik Andry and abang ya kat rumah Bibi Nyonya ya." and I replied, "Of course Ibu datang." I kissed him on his head. Andrian shook my hands like a gentleman and stepped back.

..........and we left the house. 

Part 2.

It was less than 50 minutes when we arrived the Kabin. After checking in we went straight to our cabin. It was small with basic amenities. I looked at Hans and Hans looked back at me. “I think I rasa claustrophobic…you are too tall and I don't think you will fit in the bed.”, and I laughed. He laughed too and nodded. “But, kind of romantic jugak…”, he replied. “So what do you wanna do now?”. Hans asked.

“Well, lets walk around here and the check out the event location. Sibuk-sibuk sikit then let’s walk the to the beach and watch the sunset.”, and that was my plan.

“Babe, I like your plan….”’ And he kissed me. “Jom!”

That night we were dress in Hawaian costume; Hans in his Magnum PI Hawaian shirt and me in a long kaftan with high slits on both side which I purchased from Emporio Le Sirenuse. Hand in hand we walked over to the pool and Hans started to introduce me to his colleagues.

I saw Mom and Dad and I was introduced to Hans & Hans top guns. Then I saw Iddin and I was looking forward to see him and his wife. I went over to him and greeted him, "Hi, finally someone I know personally.....so you should introduce me to your wife. Is she here?" I asked and peeking behind him.

He looked around and looked puzzled, "Didn't I mentioned I was coming alone?".

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought.....", then he cut me off, "Well, you thought wrong.", and he walked passed by me. That was rude of him.....what's going on here......?

I was seated at the main table and as the event went on... Half and hour into the live performance I excused myself to go to the ladies. The truth I was actually trying to catch a glimpse of Iddin but he was no where to be seen. Then I heard his name was called on to the stage. I stopped and looked back at the stage and there he was. The MC introduced him as the new architect who recently joined the company. But what was he doing on stage?

"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce Mr. Fazidin who agreed to sing a song for us tonight." said the MC.

MC : "So Mr. Fazidin, what song will you be singing for us tonight?"
Iddin : "I haven't sang in a while and had a little practice today but I like to sing an Indonesian song called Ekspektasi."
MC: "You are such a sport. Ladies and gents please give a warm applause to Mr Fazidin....!"

Iddin took the microphone and sat on a high stool. Then the music started to play.......with a guitar and flute player.

Credit to MusicEverywhereNet and You Tube

sakit hatiku ooh oooh

sakit melihatmu dengannya

ini malam terakhir

benar-benar terakhir

harapan tinggi jatuh

menguap tak berbentuk

nyata bukan pertanda

hanya pikiranku saja

harapan itu semua

sulit tuk ku percaya

sampai akhirnya ku lihat sendiri

sakit hatiku ooh oooh

sakit melihatmu dengannya

ini kenyataannya, tinggal melupakanmu saja

janji diri sendiri terakhir malam ini oooh oooh

sakit hatiku ooh oooh

sakit melihatmu dengannya

mana mungkin hati ini

terbuai ekspektasi tinggi

jika tak berawal indah

sampai akhirnya kau hancurkan

sakit hatiku ooh oooh

sakit melihatmu dengannya

sakit hatiku ooh oooh

sakit melihatmu dengannya

sampai akhirnya aku lewati malam ini

When the song ended he received a thunderous applause. The ladies were wooed by his singing and a few were giggling and whistling.....Iddin was a hit tonight. Even Hans and Mom gave Iddin a standing ovation.

But the song was saying a different thing......it kinda hit me in my stomach!

He bowed and was about to walked off the stage when the MC stopped him.

MC : Mr Fazidin......., don't go yet.......come stand next to me, you have got talent. Look at the ladies semuanya duduk tak diam......are you married?
Iddin : (Smiled)....yes, I am....
The ladies went....aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
MC : Does the song has special meaning? As though, you sang it straight from the heart....., penuh perasaan.......betul tak ladies?"
Yaaaaaaaa.......................there was laughter.....
Iddin : Maybe,......no, not really. Thank you.
Iddin waved to his fans and left the stage.

I stood there........numb.