Chapter 14 - Someone Like You (Olyan mint Te)

Part 1

My period is late this month. Aku mula risau. Ghazz informed that he has set up an appointment for me to see an OBGYN. Aku pregnant ke? Let it not be…..oh my,....now I’m scared.

Setelah berada 4 minggu di Budapest aku memang buntu bagaimana hendak melepaskan diri. Aku tahu tindakan Ghazz akan lebih menganas tapi aku kena juga cari jalan untuk melepaskan diri dari sini. Sampai bila harus aku hidup begini.

Aku tiada access ke dunia luar, no cellphone, no internet, no computer yang hanya ada cable TV yang bahasanya aku tidak faham. Saban hari aku melayan local MTV channel. Hanya lagu-lagu dari local artist really beri sedikit escapism dari hatiku yang duka lara. Among my favorites are 'Hid a folyot' and 'Olyan Mint Te' by Szekeres Adrianne as well as 'Szerelemre hangolva' by Dobrady Akos featuring Emelia. These are among the most beautiful Hungarian love song that I've been listening lately. Music is universal. For me any song melody is good enough to recognized that it is a love song itu saja yang aku keep on listening.......hanya lagu-lagu ni penyambung cinta ku pada Hans. Aku hanya boleh hidup dalam angan-angan yang Hans masih bersamaku....Oh Hans,....tak tertanggungku menampung airmata yang bertakung di kelopak mataku....

Credit to Rita Nemeskeri and You Tube

No other glance that could stir my blood,

No other touch that could repress my voice,

And could rock me to sleep with a sprinkle of airy dreams,

there is no one else like you, I know it for sure .

I've been to the rocky mountains

I've been to the treasure island

There's no place on earth

Which would not be a prison,

If you are not there or would not come with me.

No other glance that could stir my blood,

No other touch that could repress my voice,

And could rock me to sleep with a sprinkle of airy dreams,

there is no one else like you, I know it for sure.

I had seen the beautiful on the outside,

I had believed the bitter was sweet .

The way I see you,

I've never seen anyone else yet, so beautiful,

I have known it for long ...

No other glance that could stir my blood,

No other touch that could repress my voice,

And could rock me to sleep with a sprinkle of airy dreams,

there is no one else like you, I know it for sure.

Fate has given me so many chances,

But did not take me anywhere

Beyond desires and words,

Now I found it in you.

No other glance that could stir my blood,

No other touch that could repress my voice,

And could rock me to sleep, there are no words......

there is no one else like you, I know it for sure.

No other glance that could stir my blood,

No other touch that could repress my voice,

And could rock me to sleep with a sprinkle of airy dreams,

there is no one else like you, I know it for sure.

There is no one else like you, I know it for sure.

There is no one else like you, I know it for sure.

There is no other glance............

Dah naik muak aku duduk in captivity in this room. Aku tak tahu ke mana Ghazz pergi. Setiap hari dia akan menghilangkan diri dari pukul 7 pagi hingga 2 petang. Kemudian dia akan pulang dengan berbagai-bagai hadiah untukku seperti baju, make-up, kasut dan handbag yang mahal-mahal. Aku tak perlu semua itu….I just wanna get out of here.

Waktu siangku terperap di dalam bilik sejak akhir-akhir ini. Ghazz tidak lagi membawaku keluar kecuali di waktu lewat malam untuk dinner. Perangainya agak pelik kadang kala…..murung tak tentu pasal. Ada sekali aku nampak Ghazz membaling vase ke arah Spark. Luckily it missed him. Kalau tak mesti kecoh. Seriously I have no idea what kind of business is Ghazz dealing with and I don't give a damned. Money seems not an issue for him...I mean only Ghazz can afford to own a luxury apartment complex.

On and off, I have seen two local women coming in and out of the complex but I never had close contact with them. Every time they are here I was forced to move into another room. Then I came back to my room when it is all well made up and cleaned. Maybe I should make contact dengan mereka tapi mereka faham ke Bahasa Inggeris? Yes, aku akan tinggalkan nota di dalam bilik atau tandas. But can I trust them? Kalau Ghazz tahu mati aku dikerjakannya. But if I don’t do something sampai bila-bila pun aku akan terkurung di sini.

Part 2.

There was knock on the door and I heard it unlocked.“Hi sayang, are we ready to go to the doctor's ?” tanya Ghazz.

“I’m scared Ghazz….what if I’m pregnant Ghazz?” aku berbisik. Aku tidak mahu orang Ghazz mendengar.

“There’s nothing to be scared about. I will be there all the way.”Ghazz tried to convince me. I grabbed his right arm.

“Ghazz, what do you mean by that?” aku mula panic.

“Shhhh…if you don’t want me to hurt you, just shut-up and let’s go….” Ghazz started to raise his voice. He pulled me and gave me a kiss, a hard kiss on the lips. I wiped it off.

Aku mengikut saja sebab aku tidak mahu create tension yang mana nanti aku akan menjadi mangsa. Aku menyandang handbagku dan mengikut Ghazz dari belakang. Kami menaiki kereta BMW dan Ghazz seems to be very quiet tonight. He didn’t speak a single word throughout the trip to the doctor’s.

Sampai kami ke sebuah jalan belakang yang agak gelap, kami keluar dan menuju ke arah pintu yang dibuka seperti tahu saja akan ketibaan kami. Ruang menunggu kosong dan kami terus berjumpa seorang doctor wanita.  Doctor tersebut menyuruh Ghazz menunggu di luar semasa dia menjalankan pemeriksaan kesihatan ke atasku. Ghazz was a little hesitant but gave in and left not before he kissed me.

“I will be just right outside if you need me. Don’t think of doing something that you will regret.”bisik Ghazz semasa dia memelukku.

“I’ll leave you in good hands….Doctor I’ll be right outside.” Kata Ghazz. Doctor wanita tadi tersenyum tawar dan mengangguk. Ghazz keluar meninggalkan kami berdua di dalam consultation room.

“I need your urine in this container.” The doctor instructed me. I went into the washroom and compile my urine in the small container.  Seram sejuk aku rasa.

As I came out of the washroom, I was surprised to see another gentleman standing next to the lady doctor. I handed her the container.

“Please sit down, madam….”said the gentleman.

“I would like to speak to you. Please do not be scared. My real name is Detective Janos from the local police and I have been collaborating with the Interpol. (Interpol? Apa kaitan Interpol and my medical check up...) I also have two other detective from Malaysia with me…..”.

"Malaysia? ....yes, yes,...I am from Malaysia. I was....., " I got so excited but keep on checking the door for any moment Ghazz will just storm in. “How did you get here?”aku bertanya.

“Madam that is not important. We are here to save you and get you out of here safe.” said the detective.

“But about the man outside? He is waiting for me…..he would suspect something is wrong.”aku menjelaskan dengan nada ketakutan.

“Our police has caught him and he is now in police custody….” Belum sempat detektif itu habis bercakap aku menerpa ke pintu dan membukanya. Aku pandang sekeliling and Ghazz was no where to be seen…..I looked back at the doctor than to the detektif....

“What am I supposed to do now….he’s all I know in this country.”aku mula teresak-esak menangis. Aku duduk di luar bilik doctor dan memekupkan mukaku dengan kedua-dua tanganku.

“Tika…..” Aku tersentak. Aku kenal suara itu. Tak mungkin. Aku nampak dia di tembak oleh Ghazz. Maybe I was just imagining things. No, it can’t be him…

“Tika,…its me Hans, look at me babe.” Suara Hans kedengaran jelas. Only Hans calls me Babe. Aku mendongakkan kepalaku dan mengesat airmata. Pandanganku jelas sekarang.

“Hans? Is that really you?” I asked for reassurance.

“Yes, Babe it’s me. Hans.” as he walked slowly towards me.

“No!.....but I saw you got shot and you lay down in a pool of blood….you can’t be alive. I must be dreaming.” Aku seolah tidak mahu percaya yang Hans ada di hadapanku.

Detective Jonas interrupted, “Madam, this is Mr Hans. He came from Malaysia to take you back. With his assistance and two other detectives we managed to apprehend Mr Ghazz and his men. You will have to follow us to the police station and file a report against Mr Ghazz. This was all a set-up. The doctor is a police detective and as a doctor in disguise.”

Hans mencelah, “Detective Jonas can’t she come to the station tomorrow? She is quiet traumatized.”

“No, it is better to do it now while the information is still fresh.” said the detective.

“Tika are you up to it, babe?” Hans bertanya aku. Aku confused tetapi menganggukkan kepala tanda setuju. Polis wanita atau doctor tadi membantu aku bangun, “Please don’t take me back to the apartment complex again.”aku merayu.

“No madam. We will not. We will bring all your things to the hotel.”janji detektif wanita tadi.

“Alright.” Aku membiarkan detektif wanita itu memapahku keluar dari klinik. Aku memandang ke arah Hans yang masih terjegat di tepi pintu. I am still not able to digest that he is here.

Hans cuba merapati aku tetapi di tahan oleh Detektif Jonas. Detektif Jonas menarik tangan Hans, “Mr Hans, you come in my car and please give her some time. Do not put too much pressure on her. She is scared and all this time the suspect has physically and mentally abused her. And on top of it she thought you were dead…”. Pesan Detektif Jonas.

“Yes, I’ll remember that and thank you.” jawab Hans.

“I’ll meet you at the station, babe…” sambil memerhatiku masuk ke dalam kereta polis.

Part 3.

Selesai membuat medical check-up dan memberi keterangan, aku di hantar terus ke hotel yang mana perbelanjaan di tanggung oleh Hans sepenuhnya. Semasa di hotel lobby Hans cuba mendekatiku tetapi setiap kali aku menjauhkan diri. Aku tak layak berada disampingnya. Aku kotor. Aku telah dinodai. Tak mungkin Hans inginkan aku lagi.

Malam itu aku ditemani oleh detektif wanita. Selepas aku mandi aku mengenakan gaun tidur....aku meraong sepuas-puasnya. Tiba-tiba pintu bilik air diterjah masuk....

"Babe is everything alright. I dengar you menangis, I thought you might be in pain...." Hans panic seketika, begitu juga detektif wanita yang menemani Tika.

"I hate this sleeping gown. It's just not me.....it will give me nightmares.....please get me something else". aku menjerit sambil mengoyakkan baju tidur pemberian Ghazz yang berjenama Victoria Secret. Aku teresak-esak.

Hans masih terjegat di pintu bilik air seolah-olah tidak percaya temper tantrum aku seperti berlagak diva. Hans terus merangkulku dari belakang, "Shhhhh.....it's okay we will get you something different to wear, alright." Detektif wanita pula cuba menyelimuti diri aku yang tidak berbaju dengan tuala mandi.

After I calmed down, Hans meninggalkan bilik aku tetapi dia kembali dengan membawa sehelai t-shirt kepunyaannya. "Here Tika, if this would make you much comfortable, wear it.." aku menyambut t-shirt tersebut lalu menyarung ke badan aku. Saat itu aku merasa selesa dan tenang. Aku melangkah ke arah bilik tidur dan terus duduk ditepi katil sambil mengadap tingkap. Aku mengesat airmata.

Hans mengarahkan detektif wanita itu pulang, "I will take care of her". Detektif wanita itu meninggalkan kad namanya dan berlalu pergi.

"Do you want some coffee or juice? We can order room service if you are hungry?" Hans memujukku.

"Not yet. Thanks" aku menjawab. "Hans,...."

"Yes babe?"

"Macamana you....."

"Boleh hidup lagi? Is that what you wanna asked me? Are you not happy to see me?" Hans bertanya.

"Bukan itu maksud I. I saw you being shot and there were blood everywhere....." jelasku sambil memandang sayu ke arah Hans.

"Yes I was shot but I survived, but what's important is I'm here with you. We can be together again Tika. Every day I wanna live to see you again....you are my strength babe," Hans menghampiri aku.

Aku bangun dan menjauhkan diriku darinya. "Please don't come any closer.....I am not the same Tika anymore. Ghazz sudah hancurkan masa depan I. I was his satisfying object, if you understand what I mean...."

"Tika, I tak mahu you fikirkan soal itu lagi. I am here with you. I loved you, still love you and will forever love you", Hans menghulurkan tangannya.

Aku ingin menyambut tangannya,..."I need time Hans....all this while I meratap kehilangan you and I left myself in the mercy of Ghazz everyday. Please give me some space to breathe.". Aku kembali duduk di katil.

"Ok babe, I understand. Would it be alright for me to accompany you tonight here?"

Aku hanya mengangkat bahu ku lalu berbaring di atas katil. Aku penat dan binggung...."Hans, can you get me some aspirin?

"Ok babe you rest. I'll call room service". Hans akur.