"Good morning sunshine...the best thing to do when I wake up earlier than you is just to watch you sleep....you have a strange smile on your face, like a satisfaction smile....", Hans whispered as I opened my eyes this morning.
I touched the scar right below his right eye and I snuggle closer to Hans."Good morning....how long have you been staring like this?," I asked. Then, I felt a trobbing pain on my lips now that the pain killer has ware off. "Ummp.....sakit. My lips hurts...", and I touched my swollen lips.
"Don't touch.....", and he took my hand and placed it next to his face.
"Does it look bad.....I mean the swollen?, I asked Hans. He just looked at me and said, "I'll kiss away the pain for you.....", and so he did just that on my lips. I smiled.
"Babe,....last night....., when you said it won't be long that I am not your husband, were you serious? Did you really have the intention of leaving me? It sounded so harsh that you wanted to end our marriage?", Hans query me.
"Oh...I did say that, didn't I? Is that what you have been thinking all morning?", aku cuba mengelak pandangannya.
"At the time I felt my world has fallen apart.", aku berbisik. "I am sorry for all the things I said. I guess I was not being rational...".
"No...no...no....don't apologized. It's me who was at fault. I never meant to hurt you, never meant to put you in so much anguish and pain. Do not ever doubt my love for you. As a husband I have to put a stop sebelum kita tersilap langkah atau terlepas cakap. Bila terlepas cakap susah nak tarik balik. Nikah, talak and cerai tak boleh main-main. There should have been a better solution but ialah as human kadang-kadang kita hilang pertimbangan. Emosi mengawal akal fikiran. Dengan rendah dirinya I minta maaf dengan you. Bagi I peluang untuk menebus kesilapan I...", and he embraced me.
I looked up at Hans and utter softly closed to his lips. "Please don't hit me again....", I told him. "I tahu I was so rude towards you. I felt bitter looking at my competition who is ten times beautiful than I am. The thought of you leaving me......really shook my world. I can't be the perfect wife you expect me to be....", I expressed my insecurities just like any woman would feel in this situation.
"Yes, I berjanji I will never lay my hands again.....I regretted what I did. I tak pernah expect you be the perfect wife. I love you because of who you are.........Tika, trust me hanya I saja yang paling faham macamana gelisahnya hati you. I was miserable when you were missing.....Please yakin hanya you saja yang faham erti kejujuran isi hati I and I love you so much....Percayalah", he affirmed.
I'm not going any where. I am staying in this marriage and you're gonna love me....Hans, you're the best thing that's happened to me....Hidup itu adalah pilihan dan ini adalah pilihan aku.
Credit to Emotion Entertainment and You Tube
I sat up slowly, lean my back against the headboard and pulled the covers up to my chest. Hans looked at me and asked, "What do you wanna do today.....we can just stay in bed or swim in the sea.....you decide....".
I stared at him and shrugged my shoulders. "I am feeling lazy today. Let's just stay in bed, watch a movie, lepas tu kita balik rumah, boleh?", I replied and stroke his thick brown hair. He loves it when I do that and he slide closer and lay his head on my tummy. "I like your plan. I wanna go back to our house, too...".
That afternoon we drove home separately in our own cars. We stopped in Nilai for lunch. It was pure luck that we managed to get a table as this place is always pack. Reservation in advance is advisable.
We enjoyed the dishes here like the rendang daging, kerabu pucuk paku, daging salai and sambal tumis udang petai which was served with rice. We also had teh tarik and ice cream tapai.
We walked hand in hand towards our car which was parked by the road side. "Kenyang...?", tanya Hans. Aku menganggukkan kepala. He tugged my hand and I looked up at him."What?", I asked him.
"Nothing....just checking if your mind is here with me....", and he beamed. He kissed my hand.
"Ada-ada je la you ni....thank you for the lunch and you are such a wonderful company.", I complimented Hans and lean against his arm. He grabbed me and he gave me a tight hug. He walked me to my car and kissed me before he walked to his car. Half and hour later we reached our house in Cyberjaya.
We hang out in the lazy pit. We talked and kissed to catch up for lost times. Then it got me thinking,....is he an abusive husband? Am I in an abusive relationship? I don't know exactly but what I know is I was rude to my husband. I overstep his boundary but as a husband he did what he thinks is right. I might add that he did the right thing sebelum masalah lain timbul. Astaraghfirullahalazim........
"Hans, I think I wanna bake some tuna puffs...", tiba-tiba terasa nak memasak pulak. Hans looked delighted, "Okay, I'll help you...". We spent the next hour having fun baking in the kitchen but then he got a call.....
Hans : Waalaikumsalam, yes bro....great...just bring it over....thanks man....I owe you one....right....see you later.
"Iddin is coming over. Do we have extra puffs for him?", Hans sound so cheerful. I smiled back at him and said, "Of course ada banyak ni.......hmmm...., what would you like the puffs with, coffee or tea?", I asked.
"Definitely Nescafe. No worries I boleh buat. You take a rest.", he was beaming and winked at me. I took the puffs to the lazy pit and the door bell rang....
Hans was a head of me, "No you sit and rest, I'll get the door...", he insisted. Don't know what's going on, he sure is acting very funny. I laughed and said, "Are you all right.....you are acting weird.....".
Part 2.
"Come on in....", both men shook hands and Iddin passed a paper bag to Hans. "Thanks man for doing this. I really appreciate it...", Hans accepted the bag. Hans walked over to me and handed me the bag. I peak in and I saw box of Iphone and it made me smile.
He said, "Ganti balik yang you campak dalam laut....Surprise!". I laughed and kissed him on the cheek. "You ni,....kan I boleh beli sendiri....but thank you very much.", and I opened up the box.
"Campak phone dalam laut? Apa cerita ni?", Iddin kehairanan sambil memandang ke arah aku dan kemudian kepada Hans.
"Tika was mad at me and she threw her phone in the ocean. Sebab tu I tak dapat contact dia for 2 days. Finally you know mana I jumpa dia.......kat Avillion.....", Hans explained as he sat next to me on the sofa.
"PD? And the bruised lip?", Iddin was very observant and curious, well more like busy body....hahaha.
"It was an accident." I replied. He came closer to take a look at my lips..."Nah, you can lie however you want but the cut is quite deep....how many stitches ni.....?, he asked as he tilt my face left and right.
"Five.", I whispered close to Iddin ears.
"Are you alright?....", Iddin asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Come let's have some tuna puffs I made tadi.", sambil aku menghulurkan a piece of pastry to him just to avoid the issue before it goes on too far. I know Iddin, he was not satisfied with my explanation.
Frankly speaking, I know both of them cared for me very much.....I love them too but it felt really awkward. Hans was staring at Iddin the whole time the Q&A session between me and Iddin.
Luckily the conversation about me dwindled when Iddin cleverly switched to 'business talk' with Hans. I just sat there checking out the new Iphone. Hans conclude the business talk when he said, "We will discuss this further tomorrow.". Iddin understood and said, "I'll make a move first.......Atika call me...", he whispered as we hugged good bye. Aku menganggukkan kepala. "Thanks Iddin for dropping by...", I replied and smiled at him. I looked at Hans nervously and signaled him to say good bye to Iddin.
"All right bro, thanks again for coming and I'll see you tomorrow.....", Hans extended his hand and both shook on it.
I saw Iddin out and he made me promised to call him,.....and he drove off in his new company car. Audi C7. Nice......
Part 3.
Three days later I called Iddin and we agreed to meet up for lunch at Cyberview Resort. As I saw him walked in the restaurant I find him so well polished and attractive since he joined Tan Sri's company. I smiled and stood up as he came closer.
"How are we today? Please don't get up.......". He kissed me on both cheeks. Iddin looked happy when he saw me.
"I'm good thank you. And you?", I said.
"I am fine and glad to see you....". Iddin replied.
As soon as we sat down he asked, "So what's the story....spill it out....Hans did this to you, right?", Iddin being very persistent.
"Before I tell you what happened please answer this,....I am telling you about my personal matters because........", I said as I looked at Iddin. He was confused.....
"Go on finish up my sentence. Give me one good reason why I should tell you about what happened.....", I waited for this response.
"Because I am concern about you.....as a best friend, of course.", he gulped.
"You are a married man. I rasa tak sesuai kalau I buka cerita hal rumahtangga I pada you....", I replied.
"Then why did you call me?", he asked.
Aku berasa hairan. "Well, you yang suruh I call you the last time you were at my place.....", aku menjeling dan memandang ke arah buffet table.
"Hans did this to you, didn't he? Tengok sampai kena stitches, you still feel I tak patut masuk campur? You are in an abusive relationship Atika,.....wake up! I will always look over your shoulder whether you like it or not. Admit it you feel safe when I do that, right....?", Iddin reacted to my statement.
"Okay,.....okay,....okay,..... macam ni ceritanya......", aku meneguk Ice Lemon Tea.
"After the conversation both you and I had the other night, I decided to surprise Hans at the airport. But I was shocked to see him with another woman. She was in Hans arms and they kissed when they left the airport separately.", and I sipped my ice lemon tea again. Iddin looked at me with much interest.
"I didn't know what to do....I didn't want to go back home and face him takut nanti kami bergaduh. So I drove around and somehow I arrived in PD. Stayed there to think and take my mind off the drama the day before...", I continued with my story.
Iddin looked shocked and disbelieved, "Classic Atika moves, as always....runaway from confrontation. Why didn't you call me? You know I'll come running to you....", Iddin confessed.
"What do you mean by that,...my classic moves? Iddin, it's a personal matter so I felt tak sesuai to get you involved.", I tried to make him understand.
"I was upset that I threw my phone in the ocean so no one can bother me....but he found me on the second day. We argued. He wanted to know why I went missing. I mentioned something about ending this marriage. That was when he slapped me. Later he told me that he was sorry for what he did but he had to do in order to avoid "jatuh talak" and me being "derhaka". We went to the clinic and had stitches on my lips. Balik dari clinic baru I told him that I saw him at the airport.". Aku bercerita dengan panjang lebar.
"Kalau I pun, akan tampar you......crazy. So what was his reaction?", Iddin was anxious to know.
"At first he was quiet than he told me Hani, his ex-girlfriend wants him to do paternity test. It seems she was sleeping with another man while she was seeing Hans. They had a one night stand after Hans separated from his wife.", I explained and Iddin shook his head.
"I'll be damned...that son of a bitch!", Iddin blurted out.
"Hey careful, that's my husband you're talking about.....", I defended Hans. I took another sip of drink. "He agreed to do the test and we're waiting for the results. So that's it...". I stopped and looked at Iddin. Iddin menggelengkan kepalanya.
"And you are still defending him?", Iddin sounded annoyed.
"Well, it happened in his past. I was not in the picture then.....there's nothing much I can do about it. He regretted his actions and he apologized...", I shared my opinion with Iddin.
"Okay, siapalah I nak halang you.....but if he ever does that to you again,....I mean slap or hit you, you should tell me. I will deal with him personally...understand?", Iddin wants reassurance from me.
"This is not the first time he hit me....", it just came out from my mouth.
"What! He has hit you before? When did it happened?", Iddin was furious now.
"Dah lah Iddin. Tak payah nak besar-besarkan lagi issue ini....", I tried to avoid answering Iddin's questions.
"When was the first time....?!", Iddin insist to know the answer.
"About six, seven months ago....I passed out after he hit me on the face.....it was my fault....", I confessed.
"Hmmm....eloklah tu.....nanti bila dah nak separuh nyawa baru nak cari I...damn it girl, every woman do not deserved to be in an abusive relationship." Iddin explained.
"Errr....is this what they say,....abusive relationship....?", I asked Iddin.
"Come on Atika, you know better than that.....!", Iddin was enraged with my question.
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