Sunday, February 5, 2017

Chapter 48 - If only for one night.

Part 1.

Hans called room service for a bucket of ice. I changed my clothes as it was covered with blood and later sat on the bed. Aku meraba-raba pipi aku yg masih berdenyut-denyut kesakitan. Hans had an ice pack ready in hand. He came closer and sat next to me. Slowly, he placed the ice pack on my lips....

"Oooo.....ouch....", I tried to fight the pain. I jerk my head to the right.

"I know it hurts but you have to sit still." Hans said and I obeyed. I looked him in the eyes and he looked back at me. A moment ago he slapped me, hard, and now he's nursing not only my cut but also my bruised ego. He was shirtless. I wonder if has change of clothes with him....I got side tracked for a moment there....

"We'll try to stop the bleeding for now. The cut is quiet deep. I'm taking you to the doctor....", he suggested. I kept quiet. I was in a confused state of mind.

"Are you listening to me? Dah macam ni pun degil lagi.....", he snapped at me.

"This won't happened kalau you tak tampar I tadi. Next time, just shot me in the head so that I won't suffer like right now!" I fought him back.


"What is your problem, babe? Apa yang you marah sangat pada I? I sampai rumah the other day and you were not there. I called and messaged you numerous times. You did not read them - A T - A L L. Then you switched off your phone.", he explained patiently.

"I threw my phone into the ocean...and please don't make it sound it's all my fault.", and I gestured with my head to the right telling him the phone is somewhere out there. Hans shook his head.

I stood up and walked to the balcony, facing the open sea. Kemudian aku bersuara,"I went to the airport on Tuesday. I wanted to surprise you but it was the biggest mistake I ever made. Instead, I was the one who got a massive surprise when I saw you arm in arms with another woman....". Finally I had it out of my chest. I looked out far to the ocean and the darkness outside.

There was silence..........I didn't even want to turn because I was not ready to see his reaction.

He didn't even say a word. Feeling guilty are we? I hope he now knows why I was so mad at him....

"I'm going to PD town to look for a clinic.....alone.", I said softly and picked up my handbag and car keys.

"No, I should drive.....", Hans memujuk aku.

"Thanks but I rather go alone because when I get back I want to see you gone. I don't know what's going on between you and that woman. I am not the kind who like pry into your business but convince me that you are sane and value our marriage institution today. Never mind,...forget it.....I do not want to argue anymore. I am in pain, am so tired and want you to leave me alone....I am not ready to have my heartbroken again.....the image of both of you at the airport, Urgh!..... keeps replaying in my head. Maybe I am the one who is going crazy!", I told him off. I felt something warm dribbling on my chin. More blood....


Hans step closer and wiped off the blood. "Tika,...bila I lafaz nikah dulu, sama seperti I berjanji untuk selamanya menjaga you, menyayangi you, and menjadi imam you. Your place is with me. Only you...I will explain everything but first, let me take you to the clinic and have the doctor take a look at your cut lip, please.....babe....", he pleaded and hold my hand. Kata-katanya membuat aku serba salah...I nodded in agreement. Mudahnya aku tewas......

Part 2.

My lips required 5 stitches and the doctor said it will get swollen for a few days. I need to do a follow-up every other day for surgical dressing. While in the operating room the doctor wants to know if I will be making a police report against Hans. "No, that won't be necessary....it was just a misunderstanding", I answered. The doctor was so concern that he gave me a pamphlet on domestic violence. I said thank you and placed it in my handbag.

On our way back to Avillion we didn't talk. We exchanged glances a couple of times. I do not know what to expect if he confessed he was having an affair with another woman. My mind was a wreck.

Soon as we reached my chalet and I stripped out off my clothes. Naked and crawl into bed. I don't care if Hans eyes was fixated on me. He helped to pull the sheets over my shoulder. I lay on my right side and face the balcony just like other nights listening to the sound of waves...... Hans wanted to switch of the lights. "No please leave it on...", I said. "And please don't close the curtain shades." Hans obliged and sat at the corner of the room.

Hans made himself welcome obviously. He changed into a spare t-shirt he had in his car. He was all quiet but seconds later I heard Luther Vandross and I presume the song came from Hans laptop.


He came around and check up on me. "I'm sorry I thought you were a sleep...", he said and walked back to the sofa again. As he clasped his hands together and brought it close to his face, he said "Babe,....please accept my sincere apologies for the incident earlier tonight. Seriously don't know how to begin but.....". He paused.

Then he started to explain....."Her name is Hani. I met her in the midst of finalizing  my divorce. Marianne, my ex-wife thought Hani was the reason we ended up with a divorce. I contradicted her version. Hani came along at the right time. I was hopeless and depressed and we had a one night stand. That was all. Only once. Did not expect to run into her recently in Dubai. She is now happily married with two kids to a wealthy Arab guy and residing in Dubai."

I didn't move an inch and still looking out at the dark sky.

Hans coughed but he continued, "As thrill I was to see her, she said she has been trying to get in contact with me the past few months. She wants me to do a paternity test just to rule me out as the biological father of her 8 year old daughter."

"Are you? The father.....?", aku bertanya. He stood up and paced the room. He stopped and lean against the wall.


"Don't know....I did the test yesterday and the result will be out in one weeks' time. And yes, I am very nervous of the out come. I serious do not know what to expect. I am confused and scared, babe. That's was why Hani came back to Malaysia with me....and please do not misinterpret the kiss you saw, it was not passionate. It was just a friendly gesture and it doesn't mean a thing to me.....", Hans answered honestly.

"So what's going to happened now?", I asked.

"Wait for the result. ", Hans replied.

"What if it is positive?", I popped another question.

"She's not after me, my money or anything out of the result. The thing is, she also slept with another man at the same time she was 'seeing' me. It's more for her own reassurance of who is her daughter's real father. At least that's what she told me.", explained Hans. He was so attentive to all of my questions and provided decent answers.

"If the child is yours......", left it hanging expecting Hans to complete my sentence.

"I seriously don't know.....that has been bothering me since.....I really did not mean to slap you hard.....Things got bottled up in me and....the thought of you ending our marriage got me up to here....", he lift his hand brought it up to his nose.

"You did not answer my question, what if the child is yours....?", I asked again.

"Babe it's not going to change anything between us. If the kid is mine, maybe I would like to meet her. Get to know her, itu pun if Hani agrees to it. I am not going to fight for custody. She has lived her entire life with her mother and she only knows that the Sheikh is her father. I cannot predict the future. I can only face them one at the time....". I was almost convinced with his answers. He came over to the bed and stood right in front of me. "Please don't be mad at me because my life is with you.....and no one else."

He ran his fingers along my face and I closed my eyes. "And that is all to it...?", I asked and opened my eyes.

"Di dunia ni lagi Tuhan dah membalas dosa I. I am paying for the mistakes I made in the past, Tika.  I regretted  what happened and never in my life thought that it will come back to haunt me like this..... ...Tika, please maafkan I.....", he just looked at me and sat at the edge of the bed.

Credit to Jaime Mansilla and YouTube

What can I do....it happened before I came into his life.....Now Allah dah bagi balasan pada dia......I turn and sat up slowly on the bed. Hans glanced at me. I instantly embrace him in my arms and we kissed for a long time......I don't care about the throbbing pain on my lips.


"What was that for.....", he whispered and caress my lips with his thumb. And I replied, "To ease my fear."

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